IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Write at least 250 words.

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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In some
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Some
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 countries, specifically Asian countries, are popular for their cultural traditions, where adults should be able to afford a
house
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. Renting is not acceptable because it indicates financial instability.
Although
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 some might argue that it is a negative situation, I personally believe that it is a positive one.
Hence
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, I will discuss some reasons behind
this
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 issue and present my opinion. Adults will be considered successful when they manage to find a
house
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. Some people see it as a responsibility to be independent and mature.
For example
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, my uncle works really hard to buy either a small
house
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 or an apartment for himself, as my grandmother says that he needs it to show his responsibility to the bride's family and himself before he gets married.
However
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, there are some who argue that people should not be forced to be able to buy a
house
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.
Instead
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, they can consider renting a place.
For instance
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, as
house
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 prices are gradually increasing, most adults can not afford to buy it.
Hence
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, renting is an option for them, so that they can allocate their money for something else. By
this
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, people can save up money
while
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 living in a comfortable
house
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 rather than be forced to buy an uncomfortable home. Ultimately, it seems to me that buying a
house
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 is more secure than renting it as it provides long-term stability and a sense of ownership.
Moreover
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, it can motivate them to be disciplined, independent, and have long-term planning in order to achieve a milestone.
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task achievement
Consider adding more examples or statistics to strongly support your points. For instance, mentioning how cultural expectations impact financial decisions or the economic impact of homeownership vs. renting.
task achievement
Try to expand on ideas with a bit more detail to ensure clarity. For example, elaborate on cultural influences and the financial stability renting can offer.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smooth to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, which sets the context and presents the writer's viewpoint effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarises the main points and restates the opinion clearly, providing closure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are organized logically, and there is a good balance between different views, which helps maintain coherence throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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