IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Write at least 250 words.

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
In some
Change preposition
Some
show examples
 countries, specifically
asian
Change the capitalization
Asian
show examples
 countries, are popular for
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 cultural
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
, where
Add an article
an adult
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 should be able to afford a
house
. Renting is not acceptable because it indicates financial
unstability
Correct your spelling
instability
.
Although
 some might argue that it is a negative situation, I personally believe that it is a
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 one.
Hence
, I will discuss some reasons behind
this
 issue and present my own opinion.
Adult
Fix the agreement mistake
Adults
show examples
 will be called successful when they manage to find a
house
. Some people see it as a
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to be independent and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not depend on others.
For example
, my uncle works really hard to buy a
house
 for
him
Correct pronoun usage
himself
show examples
 in the future, as my grandmother says that he needs it to show his responsibility before he
got
Wrong verb form
gets
show examples
 married even if it is a small
house
.
However
, there are some who argue that people should not be forced to be able to buy a
house
.
Instead
Add a comma
Instead,
show examples
 they can consider
to rent
Change the verb form
renting
show examples
 a place.
For instance
, as
house
 prices are going up, most adults can not afford to buy it.
Hence
, renting is an option for them, so that they can allocate their money for something else.
This
 way, people can save up money
while
 living in a comfortable
house
rathr
Correct your spelling
rather
 than forcing to buy an uncomfortable home. Ultimately, it seems to me that buying a
house
 is more secure than renting it as it provides
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 stability and a sense of ownership.
Moreover
, it can motivate them to be disciplined, independent, and have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
long-term planning in order to achieve a milestone.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure the essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Specifically, give more examples to support claims about renting.
coherence and cohesion
Consider providing more logical connectors and transitions to further enhance fluency and reader guidance.
introduction conclusion
The introduction provides a clear statement of the essay's stance and outlines the essay's structure.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical progression of ideas and includes an effective conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: