Student generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often thought that the freedom to manage the
time
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should be ensured for minors. I believe it is essential for teenagers to experience deciding to do whatever and whenever they want to do.
This
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essay will suggest two main reasons why
this
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is important, followed by a reasoned conclusion. First of all, they can raise their
time
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management abilities by setting their own schedules from a young age. The schedule management skill cannot be acquired by itself, even though
this
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is necessary in adulthood.
However
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, if people practice separating the
time
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for studying and relaxing at primary school, they can manage a more hectic schedule easily when they grow up.
For example
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, most primary
schools
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in the USA adopted the system, where students could choose and set their
time
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tables, and
this
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trained them successfully to organise their
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.
Secondly
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, children can avoid getting stressed by organising their
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by themselves. If they can adjust their plans
according to
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their conditions and moods, there are more chances that the amount of stress will decrease. In comparison, most students feel anxious and depressed when they follow fixed schedules, because they argue that it forces them to conduct it and that it is depressing when they fail to achieve it.
Hence
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, it is better to let them choose and organise their plans, not to order to follow made-up ones. Most
schools
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in Korea show a bad example, where
schools
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decide what and when they learn,
then
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force them to follow it.
Due to
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this
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fact, more than 80% of Korean students answered that they were unhappy with their
schools
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and wanted to drop out of school. In conclusion, I strongly agree that teenagers should organise their
time
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on their own by the facts that practising
time
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management helps pupils to perfect their skills and that they can be stress-free by studying at their own paces.

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strength
Your view is clear and you state your position in the intro and restate it in the conclusion.
improvement
Add more deep ideas and more proof to back up each point. Give solid, real examples and explain more how each idea helps.
improvement
Be careful with facts. Some examples in your essay may be wrong or hard to check. Use only ideas you can show as true or say it as a possibility.
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Link your ideas with clear and simple signs. Use words like first, next, also, finally to help the flow.
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Keep the tone of the essay steady. Some parts are long and hard, and some small parts feel short. Aim for even length and clear aim in each part.
improvement
Try to use a wider range of spellings and words but stay in the top 100 words for this task.
strength
Clear stance on the topic and a direct answer to the prompt.
strength
Good use of simple linking words to show order (First, Secondly, In conclusion).
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Self-regulation
  • Personal responsibility
  • Procrastination
  • Academic success
  • Structured schedules
  • Mental health
  • Flexible management
  • Traditional schooling
  • Modern educational approaches
  • Self-management
  • Guidance
  • Skills training
  • Personalized learning
  • Student engagement
  • Leisure time
  • Academic performance
  • Prioritization
  • Task management
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