There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that these days education is becoming more and more pressured by
subjects
,especially in high
as well as
elementary schools. The question is, is it good to stretch the students' schedule? In
this
essay, I am going to discuss the reasons for agreeing and draw my personal conclusion. In terms of the problems, more
subjects
and more exams mean the duller for students and some teachers. The main reason given to support
this
claim is that one of the most successful education in the world is Iceland. To illustrate, in Iceland, they do not have exams in schools beginning with elementary to high school and they have one of the most readers and writers community.
In addition
, the average for writing books in Iceland is 5 books per person.
Moreover
, many
subjects
in school that going to distract the
student
and will
reflect
Verb problem
apply
show examples
directly decrease the
student
level,
according to
a recent study shows the more jobs on a person's schedule let more people tend to procrastinate the jobs even if they are able to do it all.
Firstly
, I completely agree to remove the unnecessary
subjects
such
as cooking, painting and life skills.
In other words
, that will reduce the study year length leading to an increase slightly the
student
level. In conclusion,
Although
some countries planning to add more tests and
subjects
and they see that will improve the
student
level, other countries see that will not work and they reducing the
subjects
.
Therefore
, I believe that reducing
subjects
and just focusing on the main
subjects
will impact positively on students' levels.
Submitted by Yousef on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To improve your score for task response, make sure to explicitly state your agreement or disagreement with the statement in the question prompt and develop your argument around that stance. Include clear reasons for your position and try to provide a balanced view if discussing both sides.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on structuring your essay more logically. Use clear and cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs together. Additionally, make sure that your introduction and conclusion are fully developed and restate the main points of the essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: