some people think that children should not watch telvision as it has negative effects while some people believe that they should watch television as it helps them in their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #children #telvision #effects #television #future

Telly is considered a mode of information where you can watch anything whether it is a news medium or a music

avenue

Correct your spelling

venue

show examples

. Some people believe grown-ups should not watch telly as it is not sensible for their character

while

others say it is beneficial for their upcoming life. In

this

passage, I am going to discuss both viewpoints explain my opinion in the following paragraph and come up with a logical conclusion.

Firstly

, those people who do not agree that adolescents should not watch digital boxes as it is not appropriate for their health. Spending long hours in front

audio

Change preposition

of audio

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can directly affect their eyesight and health problems

such

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apply

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obesity. Every child is so fascinated with

this

technology that they compromise their studies and outdoor activities which leads to low academic scores and health issues.

For instance

, In 2002, the data was collected and 75% of teenagers wore contact glasses because of spending long hours in front of the television and 20% of children had excess weight issues.

However

, few people discuss that it is very helpful for their kid's future. They believe that it is best for their child to get knowledge about current affairs in the country from news

channels

and get more information about many other fields. There are many channel options available on television

such

as news

channels

, history

channels

and geography

channels

where they get various knowledge about different cultures and learn about their languages and history. In my opinion, having technology made our life so easy and it is the responsibility of their parents to recognise what is good for the teenagers. There is no 100 per cent negative effect of revulsion. It depends on the child which channel they want to watch and

that is

the main point

Submitted by shubhdeepkaur2 on Sat Nov 23 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Try to develop your introduction more clearly to better set the stage for your discussion. A good introduction includes a clear thesis statement outlining the main points you will discuss.

logical structure

Enhance the linkage between points and paragraphs by using more cohesive devices. This helps structure your arguments clearly and makes your essay easier to follow.

relevant specific examples

Provide specific examples to support your points. This not only makes your argument more robust but also demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.

complete response

The essay addresses the task and discusses both views, fulfilling the requirement of the task prompt.

clear comprehensive ideas

The essay provides a balanced view of both perspectives on children's TV watching, showing an understanding of the debate.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that children should not watch telvision as it has negative effects while some people believe that they should watch television as it helps them in their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Task 2: Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries one in the home rather than renting his important for people white might be the case is this a positive or negative development

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.