IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#people #money #tax
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There is a widespread disagreement on the issue of whether
taxes
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 should be eliminated or not.
While
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 some argue that it is their civil right to save all their income without a fraction of tax, I strongly agree that it is all human’s responsibility to pay
taxes
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 to the government. The reasons for
this
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 are as follows. I believe that the strongest argument in favour of
this
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 issue is enhanced living quality. Of course, at first glance paying
taxes
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 seems to be unfair,
however
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,
taxes
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 are one of the main sources of funds for governments to increase facilities and amenities in the whole country. A salient example of
this
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 is constructing new roads or highways, increasing green spaces and parks and equipping hospitals which impose significant expenses on governments and without
such
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taxes
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 fulfilling these projects would be impossible.
Thus
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, if people desire an advanced life, the obligation to pay
taxes
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 is inevitable.
Secondly
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 and even more importantly, though, is that of a balanced society. Since the tax payment system is based on the level of income, families with higher incomes pay more money and vice versa. Continuing
this
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 approach paves the way to enjoy the facilities and amenities for indigent families same as the affluent people.
Hence
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, rather than having a selfish attitude toward paying tax, considering it as our humanitarian responsibility is advisable. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that
although
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 some reckon paying
taxes
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 unjustified, it is the cost of living in a sustainable society. I believe that holding educational campaigns and informing individuals of the long-term benefits of paying
taxes
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 is justified.
Submitted by golriiz.azizi1991 on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. This will enhance the support for your main points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all ideas are clearly linked throughout the essay. While the general structure is strong, smooth transitions between points can further improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph contains a main idea supported by reasoning, contributing to a logical structure.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt comprehensively, covering key aspects of the argument regarding tax and societal benefits.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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