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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some parents think that their children should study in other countries because it has a number of benefits. Others think by studying in other countries, children will face a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#parents #children #study #countries #face
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Some people argue that studying abroad benefits
students
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 in different aspects. Some argue that children will struggle to live alone in foreign
countries
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.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before expressing my personal opinion. On the one hand, there are several advantages of studying in different
countries
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 for children. First of all, children tend to be more independent when living far away from their family which is a good opportunity for them to build their self-discipline.
In addition
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, those who study and live abroad, have more chances to meet and learn about the culture, technologies and development of other
countries
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, and interact with others from different
countries
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 around the world. In the end, they can come back to their home
countries
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 to contribute to its development.
On the other hand
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,
students
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 might struggle with several issues when studying in foreign
countries
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.
For instance
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, without support and supervision from their family, they might be easy to neglect to study
,
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apply
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 and engage in bad habits
such
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 as drug or gambling addiction. It is a fact that there are many overseas
students
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 who engage in gambling and
therefore
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 stop studying and
experience
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 serious mental issues that they might not overcome. In my opinion, studying abroad is a valuable opportunity for any student so that they can enrich not only their knowledge but
also
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 soft skills and essential life
experience
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. Both family and student need to be aware of all the different aspects and circumstances of studying abroad, what they want to achieve, what should they do and how can they do are all the questions they need to clear before going abroad. In conclusion, the benefits of studying abroad not only enrich knowledge for
students
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 but
also
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 enhance their life
experience
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, and it
outweighs
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outweigh
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 the challenges . Proper preparation, guidance and support from family could help
students
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 have a good
experience
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 of studying abroad which is beneficial for their future.
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task achievement
Try to balance the discussion sections by providing more specific examples of the problems students might encounter abroad. This will help in enhancing the relevance of your examples and making your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Use more connecting words or phrases to further smooth the transitions between opposing views and within paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear, and the main points of the essay are effectively outlined. It sets a good stage for the discussion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarises the discussed points and reflects your opinion logically, providing a rounded closure to the essay.
logical structure
The logical progression of ideas in each paragraph enhances coherence. Each paragraph clearly supports the task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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