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Band 7

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#attention #prevalence #media
Some today have argued that individuals now possess generally shorter
attention
 spans largely
as a result
 of the growth of various social
media
 platforms. In my opinion, though
this
 claim might be slightly overstated, it is true on the whole. Those who argue that shorter
attention
 spans are not
due to
 social
media
 point out the influence of other new forms of
media
 and technology. The length of a person’s
attention
 span was never a topic of consideration for debate before the onset of the digital age and the development of television, radio, the internet, and so on. The stimulation from these technologies represents unprecedented challenges for humans who have not evolved to live in a digital world.
Although
 modern kinds of
media
 lead to over-stimulation and an addictive craving for more, constant stimulation, social
media
 is merely one distraction among many.
However
, social
media
 is the greatest single cause of declining
attention
 spans
due to
 their unique design features. Social
media
 companies have specifically crafted their applications to provide momentary bursts of pleasure.
For instance
, an application like TikTok is specifically designed to provide a stream of addictive videos under 10 seconds in length. As their algorithm perfects a curated feed for any given user, individuals easily become hooked on short entertainment and their
attention
 spans concomitantly suffer.
This
 is in marked contrast to the focus required to watch a film or listen to a radio broadcast. In conclusion, I agree social
media
 has caused the average person to struggle with concentration for extended periods
due to
 the manner in which these websites have been constructed. Governments should
therefore
 regulate them in order to mitigate the
harms
Fix the agreement mistake
harm
show examples
 they cause
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 society as a whole.
Submitted by nuzhathfarhana1 on

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Task Response
Ensure that the arguments directly address the question prompt and avoid going off-topic. Provide a clear position and support it with relevant examples and explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure. However, consider using more linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of information from one paragraph to the next.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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