some people prefer full-time jobs because they offer stability. other people preferbcasual jobs because of the freedom they offer
A group of individuals adhere to the view that choosing full-time
jobs
provides them financial stability while
some people
believe working part-time offers more advantages such
as freedom. partially agree with this
viewpoint and I will elaborate my
arguments in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, I accept that some pupils are more likely to choose Change preposition
on my
jobs
with long working hours
because of several reasons. Firstly
, some subjects such
as doctors, teachers or engineers demand full-day
work
, because their jobs
are crucial and require much attention. To illustrate, doctors are responsible for patients lives and they have to be careful during operations which last
more than 5 hours
. Moreover
, the other reason why most people
want to work
the whole day
is financial problems. For instance
, full-time employees earn much more than part-time and it provides people
with financial stability.
On the other hand
, it is also
true that working long hours
is not suitable for some citizens due to
several disadvantages. To start, part-time jobs
offer much freedom and convenience and for these reasons, people
prefer them. For example
, full-day
employees work
8 hours
per day
while
part-time employees work
only 4 hours
per day
and it leads to opportunities such
as going out with family and travelling to new places during the day
. In addition
, if people
spend less time in workplaces, they tend to be much more energetic because they have much time to relax. The latest research of the Az Magazine about work
hours
proves that little work
time means less fatigue.
In conclusion, although
I agree that full-time jobs
give the chance to earn money, I also
hold the view that part-time work
is more beneficial because it contributes to people
's personal life
and comfort.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by znezerli209 on
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task achievement
Consider starting your introduction with a clearer statement of your stance on the topic. For example, you could explicitly state whether you side more with full-time or part-time jobs.
coherence and cohesion
While your paragraphs are well-structured, ensure that the connection between the points is explicitly clear, which can be improved by using more transition words or phrases.
task achievement
Feel free to expand on your examples and explain them in a bit more detail to illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a well-summarized conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples, such as discussing the demands of doctors, which add credibility to your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a good logical flow between ideas, demonstrating your ability to organize thoughts coherently.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?