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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay: Parental
Pressure
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 on
Children
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 to Succeed
In
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
 recent years, it has become increasingly common for
parents
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 to place significant
pressure
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 on their
children
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 to achieve success.
This
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 trend can be attributed to a variety of social, economic, and cultural factors.
While
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 some may argue that
such
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pressure
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 can motivate
children
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 and lead to positive outcomes, it is largely a negative development
due to
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 its harmful effects on young people’s mental health and
overall
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 well-being. One major reason behind
this
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 phenomenon is the growing competitiveness of modern society. With limited opportunities in prestigious universities and high-paying jobs,
parents
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 feel compelled to push their
children
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 harder to secure a stable future.
Additionally
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,
globalization
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globalisation
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 and rapid technological advancements have increased the standards of success, making
parents
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 anxious about their
children
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’s ability to keep up. In many cultures,
children
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’s achievements are
also
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 seen as a reflection of their
parents
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’ status, which
further
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 intensifies the
pressure
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. Another contributing factor is the fear of failure in an uncertain world. Economic instability and rising living costs have made
parents
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 more concerned about their
children
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’s financial security.
As a result
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, they often encourage—or even force—their
children
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 to excel academically or pursue traditionally “successful” careers
such
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 as medicine, law, or engineering.
Although
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 a certain level of
pressure
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 can be beneficial by encouraging discipline and hard work, excessive
pressure
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 can be detrimental. Many
children
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 experience stress, anxiety, and even depression
due to
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 unrealistic expectations.
Instead
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 of developing a genuine interest in learning, they may become focused solely on achieving high grades or meeting parental demands.
This
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 can hinder creativity, independence, and personal growth. In conclusion,
while
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 parental
pressure
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 is often driven by good intentions and a desire to ensure a better future for
children
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, it is largely a negative development when it becomes excessive.
Parents
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 should aim to support and guide their
children
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 rather than impose unrealistic expectations, allowing them to grow into confident and well-rounded individuals.

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task response
For task response, you answer both parts of the task well. To get a higher score, add one or two more real and clear examples.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and easy to follow. To make them stronger, explain one point a bit more deeply.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. This is very good.
coherence cohesion
Your linking words are used well. For a higher score, you can vary them a little more and make some links even smoother.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has one clear main idea. This helps the reader a lot.
task response
You fully answer why parents do this and say clearly that it is a negative development.
task response
Your ideas are clear, relevant, and easy to understand.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion matches your opinion and ends the essay well.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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