More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The rising prevalence of
obesity
is a significant global health concern, often linked to the consumption of calorie-dense, fattening foods
. Some suggest increasing the price of such
foods
as a solution, believing it would discourage consumption. While
this
approach has merit, it is not a comprehensive solution to the problem.
Raising the prices of fattening foods
may deter some individuals, particularly those in low-income groups, from purchasing them. Evidence from public health strategies, such
as taxes on sugary drinks, shows that financial disincentives can lead to reduced consumption. Higher prices may prompt individuals to seek healthier, more affordable alternatives, potentially improving dietary habits and reducing obesity
rates. Additionally
, the revenue generated from such
taxes could fund public health campaigns or subsidize healthier food options, creating a positive cycle.
However
, this
strategy has limitations. Obesity
is a multifaceted issue influenced by genetics, lifestyle, education, and access to healthy foods
. Merely increasing prices may disproportionately impact lower-income groups, who already face financial challenges, without addressing underlying causes. Moreover
, people may continue unhealthy eating habits by reallocating their budget or switching to cheaper, equally unhealthy options. Education on nutrition and promoting accessibility to fresh, affordable produce are equally crucial.
In conclusion, while
increasing the price of fattening foods
could contribute to addressing obesity
, it is not a standalone solution. A holistic approach, combining fiscal measures, education, and improved access to healthier alternatives, is essential to combat this
complex issue effectively.Submitted by sumit7700 on
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task achievement
Ensure that the essay provides specific examples to illustrate key points. While the sugary drink tax example is effective, including varied examples can strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Expand on how education and accessibility to healthy food can play a significant role in addressing obesity effectively. This will enhance the clarity of comprehensive ideas presented in the essay.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a strong logical structure, consider adding transitional phrases between certain paragraphs to enhance the flow and connection between ideas.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced discussion on the pros and cons of raising prices on fattening foods, demonstrating a clear and thoughtful approach to the task.
coherence cohesion
The logical organization of the essay supports the main argument with relevant points and a clear conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reinforcing the need for a multi-faceted solution to obesity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.