IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say the government should spend money on providing faster public transport while others believe the government should give priority to other factors such as cost and the effect on environment. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #government #money #transport #priority #factors #cost #effect #environment
Providing faster public
transport
 might be difficult, considering the amount of money that should be
spended
Correct your spelling
spent
show examples
 on, the difficulties that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 may face, and the technical progress of the region, that we are talking about. Depending on these factors, it could be said that it is not as easy as it seems, as the state should watch order in the various areas, and
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
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 everything on time is not always possible even in the advanced countries of the world.
Firstly
, the advantages are obvious enough, as reducing time through faster
transport
, people spend less time
to get
Change the verb form
getting
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 to work, or the place they should
to
Change the verb form
apply
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be. Despite the benefits of faster public
transport
, it is equally important to consider affordability and environmental impact. Public
transport
 systems must be accessible to all socioeconomic groups, especially low-income individuals who rely heavily on these services. If governments focus solely on speed without addressing cost, ticket prices may rise, making public
transport
 unaffordable for many.
This
 could lead to increased reliance on private vehicles, undermining the goal of reducing traffic congestion and pollution.
Furthermore
, the environmental impact of building high-speed
transport
 infrastructure cannot be ignored. Constructing faster systems often requires extensive land use, energy consumption, and resource extraction, which can harm ecosystems and contribute to carbon emissions.
For example
, high-speed rail projects may involve deforestation or significant changes to landscapes. Governments must ensure that
such
 projects are designed with sustainability in mind, using eco-friendly materials and technologies to minimize their ecological footprint.
Submitted by fruitextract on

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task achievement
Make sure that every main point is thoroughly supported with relevant examples. For instance, when discussing the environmental impact, provide specific cases or statistics to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences and maintain the flow of ideas in each paragraph. This will help to maintain clarity and coherence in your essay.
task achievement
You have successfully introduced a balanced view regarding both sides of the argument, acknowledging the benefits and challenges of faster public transport.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure with an introduction that outlines the main argument, followed by detailed paragraphs that explore different aspects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public transport
  • environmentally friendly
  • productivity
  • commuting
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • sustainable
  • affordability
  • accessibility
  • ecological impact
  • government spending
  • technology
  • social benefit
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