IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?”

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, nations are more matching than before
due to
Linking Words
 the proliferation of goods globally, and the individuals' ability to purchase these items has been straightforward. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 has an inferior effect.
This
Linking Words
 is because it will demolish other cultures and impose more burdens on
people
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, each country has its own identity. The
people
Use synonyms
 consider
this
Linking Words
 identity a valuable treasure.
However
Linking Words
, because of these new habits, the
people
Use synonyms
's basis will be eradicated over time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, overbuying and replicating others will generate a tedious atmosphere among countries. One of the sparked instances is the KSA.
Due to
Linking Words
 the recent technology, and platforms, they are copying the European
people
Use synonyms
 by wearing the same clothes and living the same lifestyle, and
as a result
Linking Words
, the unique Sudie culture has been eliminated.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, new burdens have been imposed from
this
Linking Words
 trend.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will struggle more to follow
this
Linking Words
 fashion and routine. They do not want to believe that they are outdated. Moving
further
Linking Words
, they will obtain unnecessary products. These things will add new costs and can affect the environment. Ultimately, these can deteriorate the economy by closing factories.
This
Linking Words
 will make the government import these products and new loads will appear. A new study conducted by Cairo University highlighted that the over-importing of foods and clothes costs the country ten billion dollars annually.
This
Linking Words
 money can be exploited to enhance facilities
such
Linking Words
 as the healthcare system, education
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, and sanitation system. In conclusion, from what has been discussed above, the drawbacks obviously overwhelm the benefits. The nations should find a way to preserve and secure their origins. The government should play a more crucial role in mitigating
this
Linking Words
 inferior method.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to balance your arguments by exploring both positive and negative aspects. While you have discussed negative impacts thoroughly, mentioning any positive outcomes could strengthen the task achievement score.
task achievement
Ensure all points are well developed with sufficient details. Some arguments may benefit from additional explanation or examples for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Aim to enhance logical progression between ideas. Transition phrases can be used more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on tightening paragraphs by ensuring each paragraph thoroughly supports the thesis statement. This can be achieved by linking back to your main argument more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has clear introduction and conclusion sections, which frame the argument well.
task achievement
You have used specific examples, such as the KSA, to support your points, which adds depth to the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: