These days people prefer to watch live performances (Shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of event.

#people #performances #concerts #tv #computer #place #event

In the digital age, watching live

performances

has become common for most

people

.Some

people

argue that

people

should go to the place of the event.Personally, I completely agree with

this

statement

due to

it gives

people

more benefits.

While

there are many

reasons

why

people

prefer to watch live shows or concerts online the main

reasons

are they can save their money and

also

it gives more confidence.

As a result

, it is not a secret for us that watching online can more cheaper than offline that’s why,they can spend their budget on other useful things like the house as well if they watch online it can be more convenient because they can watch it every place they want.

For example

, it is proved that, when individuals don’t have time or budget to go to the place an event, it will be a good choice to watch it online.

Thus

, for these

reasons

people

select to watch shows or concerts online.

On the other hand

,individuals must go to live

performances

. There are a lot of

reasons

for

this

: first of all,when

people

are in live

performances

they can easily get the energy of consent or show.

Moreover

, it can be a new experience of their boring life.

For instance

, it is proved that when the atmosphere is not present,

people

will not get energy and they will not get experience.

Therefore

, for these

reasons

people

opt to watch live shows.

To sum up

, I hold the view that

people

should watch live

performances

which can be beneficial for them from all sides.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon Nov 25 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, but the arguments could be more fully developed to strengthen your task achievement score. Consider adding more depth to each reason provided.

coherence cohesion

While you have structured your essay well with an introduction, body, and conclusion, the logical flow could be improved. Try to provide clearer connections between ideas and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear frame for your argument.

task achievement

The essay provides some relevant examples which aid in illustrating your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

live performance
streaming
mobility issues
busy schedules
substantially cheaper
broadens cultural horizons
customize their environment
electric atmosphere
social interaction
technical issues
immersive experience

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These days people prefer to watch live performances (Shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of event.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The most important of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?.

Directors of large organisations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email •Give details of your purchase •Describe the problem •Explain why you need a replacement urgently

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?