Some say that elderly people are in the best condition when they can access healthcare facilities and socialize with others. However, the reverse is the case in today's world. What are the reasons? What are the solutions?

#say #people #condition #access #healthcare #facilities #reverse #case #world

According to

some individuals, if seniors have chances to

access

great

healthcare

systems and socialize with

others

, they will be in the best shape.

Nevertheless

, the opposite is the case nowadays all around the world.

This

essay will look at the primary causes of

this

and suggest some positive solutions to

this

problem. There are two reasons why in recent years, the elderly cannot

access

healthcare

facilities and socialize with

others

. The first reason is that some old

people

want to save money for the next generations

instead

of using it for themselves.

Hence

, the elderly believe that spending money for their children is more essential than

healthcare

expenditure which costs an arm and a leg.

Secondly

, seniors are busy making a living,

therefore

, they do not have enough time to communicate with

others

. Many old citizens do not have pensions or emergency funds, and they have to live on a low income,

that is

the reason why they cannot

access

healthcare

facilities and socialize with

others

. There are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the problem mentioned above.

Firstly

, young individuals need to encourage their parents to take periodic health check-ups and contact with

others

As a consequence

, elderly

people

are in the best condition.

In addition

, social welfare should be the top priority of every nation. The government must invest more money in medical systems for old

people

and some retirement home that arranges social and cultural activities for their seniors. When doing so, many elderly citizens can stop working and spend their time socially interacting with each other, thereby improving their health. In conclusion, some

people

think that elderly

people

are in the best condition when they can

access

healthcare

facilities and socialize with

others

However

, there are various factors leading to the reverse is the case in today's world and measures can be implemented to tackle

this

issue.

Submitted by nguyenhoanganhquan918 on Sat Jul 20 2024

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task achievement

While your essay effectively identifies and explains the causes of why elderly people may not access healthcare or socialize, it could benefit from more detailed examples or statistics to further support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the fluency and coherence of your essay by utilizing more varied linking words and phrases. This will help achieve more seamless transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which sets a strong foundation for your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some say that elderly people are in the best condition when they can access healthcare facilities and socialize with others. However, the reverse is the case in today's world. What are the reasons? What are the solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries students pay the collage and universities fees themselves, but in other it is paid by the government. Do the advantages of government money outweigh the disadvantages?

When choosing a job, while some people think that the salary is the most important thing to be taken into consideration, others have a diverse view. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

In some cultures, people often tell children that they could achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this advice?