Topic 8. Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Today, the widespread use of the internet and social media creates numerous distractions that impact our daily lives, particularly our ability to focus and care for others. Some individuals believe that children's behaviour has worsened because of the lack of responsibility in their
parents
,
while
others think it's the school's fault.
This
essay discusses both views
as well as
stating my opinion.
Firstly
, in
this
era, social media can cause an addiction in people, which leads them to only focus on themselves. The important issue is
child
neglect,
such
as the failure to provide supervision by
parents
, health care,
as well as
other physical, emotional, and safety needs.
Moreover
, studies show that the attention a
child
gets gives them more stable personalities and good behaviour
due to
the parent's effort to raise them well without getting distracted by the internet.
Secondly
, teachers at schools can cause problems for children that will lead to bad actions, one of the problems being hurting the
child
's feelings by pointing out their weaknesses.
For example
, there are writing or learning difficulties that make the
child
act up at school and home because of the negative comments and lack of confidence. In my opinion, children need more stable approaches from both
parents
and school. At home,
parents
can give their
child
guidance and a good upbringing to be an active member of society. Meanwhile, schools can provide a safe environment and solve issues the
parents
can't handle. To illustrate, if there is a
child
who was neglected at home, schools can notice that by his behaviour or low grade, so they will intervene and talk to the parent and solve the problem
while
giving the
child
a safe space.
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task achievement
Try to integrate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, as they will help in delivering a more convincing explanation.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each point clearly follows from the previous one to create a smoother flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views on the topic.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, effectively framing the essay.
coherence cohesion
The argument is logically structured with main points supported by arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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