It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives.
In life the risk
inevitable
. Add a missing verb
is inevitable
Everyday
we are faced with hard decisions that Replace the word
Every day
requires
us to have courage and be ready for uncertainties. A famous quote states Change the verb form
require
that
“Those who don’t take Correct word choice
apply
risks
do not drink champagne”. This
approach showing
how Wrong verb form
shows
risks
can lead to new opportunities or what kind of thread
could they pose. Today we Correct your spelling
threat
gonna
discuss Wrong verb form
are going to
about
why we have to gamble and what Remove the preposition
apply
Correct article usage
the consequence
consequence
could be.
The positive side of taking Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
risk
is that it opens up new opportunities, and it allows Fix the agreement mistake
risks
to
step up your comfort zone. Correct pronoun usage
you to
For example
, individuals who set up their business
have to face Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
with
unstable Change preposition
apply
finance
and take Fix the agreement mistake
finances
a
Correct article usage
apply
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
for achieving
success. Going through the difficulties, after that, in Change preposition
to achieve
future
they will be able to cope more easilyAdd a comma
future,
,
and can deal with it.
The major Remove the comma
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
negative
sideAdd an article
the negative
,
is that when people Remove the comma
apply
taking
venture they might have mental issues and stress rise. Wrong verb form
take
For example
, not always things will go well, due to
this
person
need to analyse every aspectChange noun form
person's
,
and make an adequate decision. Remove the comma
apply
Hence
, not everyone is willing to take risks
and can’t step up their comfort zone.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that the benefit
of taking Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
risks
is
often outweigh the disadvantages, and Unnecessary verb
apply
it’s giving
Wrong verb form
it gives
prospect
for Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
successful
and rich life in futureAdd an article
a successful
Submitted by aluagabitova on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, try to include more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and relatable.
task achievement
Pay attention to language accuracy. While a few minor grammatical errors are acceptable, too many could affect clarity and comprehension. Review and proofread to minimize these.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear overall structure, beginning with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs discussing both sides of taking risks, and ending with a conclusion. This organization helps in understanding the argument presented.
task achievement
You have effectively incorporated a relevant quotation, which adds value to your argument and supports the discussion.
task achievement
There is a good attempt to address both sides of the argument - the positives and negatives of taking risks, which demonstrates a balanced perspective.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.