It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives.

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In life the risk
inevitable
Add a missing verb
is inevitable

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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.
Everyday
Replace the word
Every day

The word Everyday may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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we are faced with hard decisions that
requires
Change the verb form
require

The singular verb requires does not appear to agree with the plural subject hard decisions. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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us to have courage and be ready for uncertainties. A famous quote states
that
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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“Those who don’t take
risks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

do not drink champagne”.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

approach
showing
Wrong verb form
shows

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb showing. Consider changing it.

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how
risks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can lead to new opportunities or what kind of
thread
Correct your spelling
threat

The word thread doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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could they pose. Today we
gonna
Wrong verb form
are going to

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb gonna. Consider changing it.

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discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition about seems unecessary after the verb discuss. Consider removing the preposition.

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why we have to gamble and what
Correct article usage
the consequence

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences

It seems that consequence may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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could be. The positive side of taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks

It seems that risk may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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is that it opens up new opportunities, and it allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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step up your comfort zone.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, individuals who set up their
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses

It seems that business may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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have to face
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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unstable
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances

It seems that finance may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and take
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks

It seems that risk may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for achieving
Change preposition
to achieve

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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success. Going through the difficulties, after that, in
future
Add a comma
future,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in future. Consider adding a comma.

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they will be able to cope more easily
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and can deal with it. The major
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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negative
Add an article
the negative

The noun phrase negative side seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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side
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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is that when people
taking
Wrong verb form
take

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb taking. Consider changing it.

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venture they might have mental issues and stress rise.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, not always things will go well,
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

person
Change noun form
person's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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need to analyse every aspect
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and make an adequate decision.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, not everyone is willing to take
risks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and can’t step up their comfort zone. In conclusion, I strongly agree that the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits

It seems that benefit may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of taking
risks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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often outweigh the disadvantages, and
it’s giving
Wrong verb form
it gives

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb ’s giving. Consider changing it.

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prospect
Fix the agreement mistake
prospects

It seems that prospect may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for
successful
Add an article
a successful

The noun phrase successful and rich life seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and rich life in future

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, try to include more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and relatable.
task achievement
Pay attention to language accuracy. While a few minor grammatical errors are acceptable, too many could affect clarity and comprehension. Review and proofread to minimize these.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear overall structure, beginning with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs discussing both sides of taking risks, and ending with a conclusion. This organization helps in understanding the argument presented.
task achievement
You have effectively incorporated a relevant quotation, which adds value to your argument and supports the discussion.
task achievement
There is a good attempt to address both sides of the argument - the positives and negatives of taking risks, which demonstrates a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: