IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that the government should spend taxpayers’ funds on cultural activities such as music or art. Others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In today's era of the modern
world
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,technological advancement is at its peak .
As a result
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 of
this
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,
people
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 are forgetting cultural heritage .
Hence
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,few individuals opine that national authority should use funds accumulated as part of a taxation on cultural activities like music or art
while
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 others argue that it is a monetary wastage.The following paragraphs will elucidate both views
along with
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 my viewpoint. On the one hand,there are numerous reasons to use taxation money on cultural things
such
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 as preserving a nation's identity and heritage, stimulating tourism and encouraging the hidden talents of
people
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.
Firstly
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,every
country
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 has its own cultural identity and
this
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 needs to be saved for future generations.
Also
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,it builds a positive image across the
world
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.
Secondly
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,we can promote cultural tourism in the
country
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 which will ultimately boost economic growth .
For instance
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,the Taj Mahal of India is a masterpiece of art from ancient times that has been preserved till now .It is one of the seven wonders of the
world
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 and very popular that tourists from different nations come to visit Agra,India which in turn helps in the economy.
Finally
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,every person has different talents and that needs to be encouraged by providing proper knowledge.
For example
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,in Mumbai, there are many singing schools which help students to learn and explore different aspects of music and become well-known artists and represent
country
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 in the
world
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.
On the other hand
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,others believe that taxation amount should be used for the priority needs of nations like healthcare ,education facilities and eliminating poverty.To illustrate, in Canada ,the government spend money on providing free medical checkups and treatments to
people
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. School fees are
also
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 taken care of by the government and
this
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 has helped Canada to grow and to be known as the best
country
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 to settle in the globe.
To conclude
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,I strongly believe that many factors are responsible for a
country
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's growth but the government need to prioritise and distribute funds for the activities.After analysing it in detail,feels that authorities can divide more funds in healthcare facilities as
people
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 have a right to use money contributed by them on their health .

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content
Try to further develop the counter-argument by including more specific examples or evidence to make the argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to paragraphing. Ensure that each point is clearly separated in a new paragraph to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Avoid overreliance on long sentences, which can sometimes affect clarity and coherence.
task response
The essay clearly presents both views of the argument, which effectively meets the task's demand.
coherence cohesion
A good introduction that sets the context well and a conclusion that sums up views effectively.
task response
Use of specific examples, like the Taj Mahal in India, provides clear support for the arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • national heritage
  • public expenditure
  • taxpayers' funds
  • economic stimulation
  • cultural diversity
  • private sponsorship
  • arts funding
  • cultural initiatives
  • self-sustainability
  • educational programs
  • cultural representation
  • national identity
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