IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the nomer of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

The graph below shows the nomer of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
#nomer #shops #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the amount of shops which were shut down
as well as
 opened in a particular country within 7 years, beginning with 2011.
Overall
, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rates for closing and opening of shops experienced fluctuations.
In addition
, they had
also
decreases
Change the verb form
decreased
show examples
 within the given period. In 2011,
although
 the amount of openings topped
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the list with about 8,500, it gradually declined to 4,000 in 2012.
In contrast
, approximately 6,400
stores
 were closed and these numbers slightly dropped to 6,000 in 2012
Moreover
, in 2013, the number of
stores
 that were closed noticeably grew to slightly more than 7,000, a year later, it again decreased by about 300.
However
, opened
stores
 rose by 1,000 in 2014 from 5,000 in 2013. In the year 2015, closures in
stores
 dramatically dipped to a bit less
from
Change preposition
than
show examples
 1,000, but these numbers showed
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
 to more than 5,000 in 2016, as the same appearance of it declined. In the meantime,
Correct article usage
the avaliablity
show examples
avaliablity
Correct your spelling
availability
 of the new shops went down to 4,000 and
this
 rate remained till 2016. After a year, it changed a little and reached about 4,050 and again dropped to 3,000 by the end of the period.
Furthermore
, in 2018,
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of markets that were shut down reached a little more than 5,000 from 5,000 in 2017.
Submitted by Writing9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words stores with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: