Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people lives. Other think that adults life brings more happiest, in spite of great responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinionp

There is a debate about whether puberty eras are better than
adulthood
in terms of
happiness
.
This
essay will examine both viewpoints and present a balanced opinion from my perspective. From
teenagers
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teenager's
teenagers'
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viewpoint,
puberty
Correct article usage
the puberty
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eras
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era
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is a time for them
where
Correct word choice
when
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their
responsibility
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responsibilities
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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not as big as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
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adults
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during their
adulthood
. They typically enjoy a period of relative freedom, unencumbered by the financial and familial responsibilities that accompany
adulthood
.
Moreover
,
this
stage is characterized by exploration, forming friendships, and engaging in various leisure activities.
For instance
, teenagers only need to study and finish their
study
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studies
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well,
while
their
family
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families
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will think about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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financial things. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
, there is an opposing viewpoint suggesting that
adulthood
can bring more
happiness
, even with the burdens of duty. Individuals of
this
perspective argue that the sense of accomplishment and
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
derived from achieving personal and professional goals outweigh the challenges of grown-up
life
. As individuals mature, they often develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their aspirations, contributing to a more meaningful and contented
life
.
Moreover
, the autonomy and control over one's
life
that
adulthood
provides can lead to a greater sense of
happiness
and satisfaction. In my opinion, the joyful phase of
life
is subjective and varies from person to person.
While
the teenage eras may offer a carefree and exploratory period,
adulthood
provides the opportunity for personal growth, achievement, and a deeper understanding of
life
.
Happiness
is not solely determined by age but rather by the individual's mindset, circumstances, and personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
. In conclusion, the debate over whether the teenage years or
adulthood
represents the happiest time of
life
is subjective. Each phase has its unique characteristics, with the teenage years offering freedom and exploration, and
adulthood
providing a sense of accomplishment and personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
. Ultimately,
happiness
is a complex and individualistic concept that transcends age, and its realization depends on various factors influencing an individual's
life
.
Submitted by deckyridho on

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Task Achievement
To improve your essay further, consider introducing more specific examples to support your points. While your essay presents a balanced view with clear arguments for both perspectives, incorporating more detailed instances or anecdotes could make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your essay's coherence by improving transitions between paragraphs. Effective use of linking words or phrases helps in creating a smoother flow of ideas. Consider using phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition to', or 'Contrastingly' to introduce new ideas or points of contrast.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay's structure is generally good, but to elevate its logical flow, try refining the introduction and conclusion. Specifically, in the introduction, succinctly outline the arguments you plan to discuss. In the conclusion, ensure to clearly restate your viewpoint and summarize the key arguments made in the body paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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