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Band 6.5

Some people think that machine translation is highly developed in today's society. Therefore, it is not necessary for students to learn a foreign language. What's your opinion?

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In today's world,
machine
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translation
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 has been improved in society,
thus
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, many individuals think that learning a new
language
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 is not crucial for
students
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.
However
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, others claim that
machine
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translation
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 does not provide emotion in order to express feeling.
Likewise
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, I am of the opinion that learning a foreign
language
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 is an unchangeable factor in the fast-paced world. On the one hand, proponents of the view claim that
machine
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translation
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 plays a significant role in the world. One of the major reasons is that it provides that individuals do not spend
time
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 learning vocabulary and grammar in order to communicate,
therefore
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, they tend to use it to speak without wasting
time
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.
Additionally
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, when people travel to other countries, they need to learn a new
language
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 to explain their ideas. With
machine
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translation
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, they are able to speak by pushing a button.
For example
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, more and more people have a tendency to travel to new countries, and it is not possible to learn these countries' languages;
as a result
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, via artificial
translation
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, they do not need to devote their
time
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 to
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, despite its advantages, acquiring a foreign
language
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 has a profound impact on
students
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. One of the obvious reasons is that it enhances cognitive abilities,
such
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 as improving memory and multitasking.
This
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 means that since they learn a new
language
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, their brain neurons become active in order to store information.
Hence
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,
machine
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translation
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 can not
substitute
Wrong verb form
be substituted
show examples
. From my point of view, it provides
students
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to
Change preposition
with to
show examples
 access a vast majority of literature, and research in its original form. The more languages they learn, the more knowledge they have.
For instance
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, IT
students
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 often struggle to find papers based on cutting-edge technology in their mother
language
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.
Consequently
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, learning a new
language
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 not only fosters their cognitive abilities but
also
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 improves their domain knowledge. In conclusion, though
machine
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translation
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 saves
time
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 and people do not devote efforts to speaking other languages, I firmly claim that understanding a foreign
language
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 has a positive effect on the student, including better memory, and accessibility to a wide range of resources.

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task achievement
While your argument is well-constructed and relevant, further developing some points with more examples or evidence could enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting evidence is given ample explanation to contribute to a coherent argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-rounded exploration of the topic by presenting both sides of the argument, which contributes to a robust task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, clearly outlining your stance and summarizing key arguments.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically structured with appropriate transition sentences, which enhances the flow and coherence of the essay.
task achievement
The essay contains a clear position throughout, supported by relevant examples that effectively illustrate the points made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • machine translation
  • foreign language acquisition
  • cognitive abilities
  • cultural understanding
  • nuance
  • communication skills
  • human connection
  • idioms
  • context
  • error-prone languages
  • global job market
  • versatile
  • cultural content
  • competitive edge
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