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Writing Samples
Band 8

In many countries today insufficent respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society?

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In today’s world, the elderly are increasingly confronted with signs of disrespect by the population. The essay will discuss the reasons behind that phenomenon
as well as
Linking Words
 the inconveniences it could cause. The lack of respect could be explained because of the negative feelings expressed by the youngest generations towards the oldest, and it could lead to a multiplication of violent acts against harmless grandparents. Indeed, oldest individuals tend to be disrespected because they are hated by the youngest. They are often seen as a burden for society, as incapable people who have to be taken care of.
Furthermore
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, teenagers and many adults believe that the health system,
as well as
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 many other installations, are saturated because of the elderly which makes them develop hatred against them, which they show with signs of disrespect.
For example
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, a survey conducted by the Indian National Research Institute showed that more than 89% of Indian teenagers aged between 13 and 19 years disliked those who were older because they thought they overtook the country’s hospitals. These youngsters
also
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 admitted showing a lack of respect towards them. Hatred against older people can have terrible consequences. Indeed, the rage could lead to a social exclusion of that group.
Moreover
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, it could even result in unjustified violence against harmless individuals, and sometimes even in deaths.
For instance
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, in the year 2023, the BPD, the Brazilian Police Department, counted more than 94 murders of the elderly and 189 violent attacks against them in the country, all led by individuals with less than 25 years who admitted hating grandparents and felt they should be excluded from society.
To conclude
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, more people disrespect older generations because they develop negative feelings of anger and rage towards them. The phenomenon can have a very severe impact on society since it will lead to social exclusion and even murder or violence.

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coherence cohesion
Although the essay is logically structured, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance overall coherence. Try using more linking words or phrases to strengthen the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Your response effectively addresses the task, but you could enhance the detail in your reasoning and examples. Consider expanding on how societal perceptions are formed and provide more diverse or broader examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, wrapping up your points effectively and maintaining focus on the topic throughout.
task achievement
The examples of the Indian National Research Institute survey and the Brazilian Police Department statistics are relevant and help substantiate your claims effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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