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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #money #future
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Saving
money
 is important for everyone, and
this
 includes young people. I do agree with
this
 statement as saving at an early age can bring financial security, teach responsibility, and help achieve long-term goals. First off, saving
money
 from a young age provides a safety net for unexpected situations. Life can be unpredictable sometimes, and emergencies like medical issues, job loss, or sudden expenses can arise. Having savings can prevent unnecessary stress and allow youngsters to handle these situations without depending on others. It
also
 creates a habit of being prepared for the future.
Moreover
, saving
money
 teaches young ones to manage their finances responsibly. It’s easy to get caught up in spending on things like clothes, gadgets, or entertainment, but saving helps them prioritize what matters. Learning to budget and set aside a portion of their income builds discipline and smart
money
 habits. These skills are necessary since they transition into adulthood, where expenses like rent, bills, and education costs become unavoidable.
Last
 but not least, savings enable the younger generation to achieve bigger goals. Whether it’s
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, buying a car, or investing in
further
 education, having
money
 set aside opens doors to opportunities. It
also
 provides a head start on long-term plans, like buying a home or starting a business, which might
otherwise
 seem out of reach.
Overall
, saving
money
 is not just for older people, it’s a valuable practice for young ones, helping them stay prepared, act effectively, and work towards their goals and dreams. Starting early can make a huge difference in building a stable and rewarding future.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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task achievement
Ensure a balance between personal opinions and general statements to maintain objectivity in IELTS essays.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or scenarios to elevate your argument and make it more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases occasionally to guide the reader through the progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow the writer's ideas.
coherence cohesion
Main points about the importance of saving money are well-supported, such as financial security, responsibility, and long-term goals.
task achievement
The essay effectively conveys a complete response to the task, maintaining clear and focused arguments throughout.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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