Nowadays, people try to balance between works and other part of lives. However, not many is able to achieve this. What problems does this cause ? Can you suggest some solutions to this issue ?

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In
this
era, there are a lot of
people
try
Correct pronoun usage
who try
show examples
to work and live
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
balance
Wrong verb form
balanced
show examples
.
However
, just some
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
can
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
achieve it.
this
is an interesting
phenomenon
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
society. In
this
essay, I will discuss
this
issue and provide some solutions to
this
problem. in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
era, many
people
try to enjoy and balance between
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
and
other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts
show examples
of
lives
Correct pronoun usage
their lives
show examples
. but, not many can survive and achieve
this
goal.
this
may be
there
Correct word choice
because there
show examples
are some possible factors that can influence
this
phenomenon
like, a lot of residents do not
consistent
Change the word
consistently
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do it. some
people
are excited at first and do not
consistent
Change the word
consistently
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
achieve
this
goal. there are other
factor
Change the wording
factors
show examples
that influence
this
phenomenon
.
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
they are just
plan
Wrong verb form
planning
show examples
without
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
action to achieve
this
.
therefore
, if you want to achieve
this
, you must
consistent
Add a missing verb
be consistent
show examples
and take action in your every single day.
on the other hand
, there are some solutions to tackle
this
issue. I will provide some tips to attain and survive
this
purpuse
Correct your spelling
purpose
.
firstly
, you must get motivation in your every single day. If you remember and get
motivation in
Correct word choice
motivated
show examples
every day, I believe you can
consistent
Change the word
consistently
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
survive
this
goal.
secondly
, you ought to
befrend
Correct your spelling
befriend
with some
people
that have some purpose. if you make
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
with them, you can remind each other of the goal that want you
attain
Add the particle
to attain
show examples
.
For example
, when you forget to survive toward
this
goals
Fix the agreement mistake
goal
show examples
, you will be
remamber
Correct your spelling
remembered
by your friend. So, you must have some tips to achieve
this
. In conclusion, there are some possible factors that influence
this
phenomenon
like many
people
not consistent and
survive
Wrong verb form
surviving
show examples
this
goal.
therefore
they must have some tips to accomplish
this
purpose.
Submitted by akbarsurya264 on

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language
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to make your ideas clearer.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your main ideas and strengthen your argument.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and follows a logical order to enhance coherence.
task achievement
You addressed the topic by identifying the problems and suggesting solutions, which is key to a complete task response.
coherence
Your essay contains an introduction and conclusion, framing your arguments effectively.
cohesion
You attempt to use cohesive devices which contributes positively to the flow of your essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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