Nowdays more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the possible solutions?

In
this
era, There are a lot of elderly
people
that are going to
searching
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search
show examples
the work
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
to contend with youths for the same employment. These can wreak some problems. The main issue is that senior citizens are allowed to find it more difficult to
accepted
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accept
show examples
in a
company
, which is older
people
have to
compate
Correct your spelling
compete
with teenagers who
up-to-date
Add a missing verb
have up-to-date
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
skills that needed in a
company
and they have some
experiences
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experience
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
field.
For example
. when there is a
teeneger
Correct your spelling
teenager
graduate from
Indonesia
Correct article usage
an Indonesia
show examples
university
from
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apply
show examples
majoring
informatic
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in informatic
show examples
engineering and there is a older
people
which is when they are
interview
Wrong verb form
interviewed
show examples
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
a
company
and HRD give the
quations
Correct your spelling
questions
about current skills that needed in a enterprise, the young person who can
answers
Change the verb form
answer
show examples
all these
quations
Correct your spelling
questions
.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, the
company
prefer young
people
because usually they are know about the up-to-date
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
that needed in a
company
.
Submitted by akbarsurya264 on

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structure
Work on developing a clear introduction and conclusion. The essay starts with an introduction, but it needs more clarity and completeness. Try summarizing the main points and concluding with a potential solution or personal insight.
coherence
Improve coherence by making sure each point logically follows the previous one, and ensure transition words and phrases are used between ideas to guide the reader.
support
Be more specific with examples. The essay provides a relevant example, but it could be clearer and more detailed, linking directly back to the main issue.
task response
The essay identifies a clear, relevant problem of older people struggling to compete with younger people in the job market.
task response
A relevant example is offered, showcasing an understanding of the problem's practical implications.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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