Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be rewarded. Other says that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the present day and age, certain sections of people have a contentious issue on whether
rewards
should be rendered to students who obtain high
marks
in their examinations or to those who demonstrate consistent progression. I am in complete accord with the ideology of progressive gratification. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss both perspectives and confer my view of points on
this
.
To begin
with, why do some individuals concur with the idea
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
providing the
rewards
who scoring the highest
marks
during academic years as it is crucial for prospective life
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
In other words
, in order to obtain admission at esteemed universities, it is obligatory to have excellent academic performance.
In addition
, career streams like engineering, psychology and the law require a certain level of knowledge to compete;
therefore
, rewarding
as well as
encouraging
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children during school to score high grades will eventually help them to succeed.
On the other hand
, I strongly opine that
rewards
must be given to tutees who, Despite getting average ranks, show progression in their academics. To exemplify, Even though they might not be able to get into big universities perhaps could foster the strive to study. Owing to
this
, students will feel less pressure
while
studying. To cite an example, if students
scores
Wrong verb form
scored
show examples
quick high
marks
in the past
then
the teacher should encourage them in the form of
rewards
or certificates which will motivate him/her to work harder;
thus
, doing
this
, can mitigate one’s mental stress and genuinely focus on their learning and development. In the view of arguments outlined above one can conclude that, despite the fact that scoring good
marks
will help the scholar in
further
learning at big institutions, In my opinion,
rewards
must be given to those who consistently illustrate their growth.
Submitted by rajputashutosh0009 on

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logical structure
Work on providing clearer and more effective transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
supported main points
Develop your main points with more detailed examples to make your arguments stronger.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify some of the ideas for better comprehension, such as explaining how rewarding progression can reduce pressure in more detail.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion and presents the writer's stance.
complete response
The essay discusses both viewpoints and states a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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