IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, some people believe advertising is useful and informative. Others believe advertising gives false information about the products and increase the price of goods.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Advertising is dominating societies around the world. Whilst some believe that
advertisements
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 are helpful and impart knowledge about different
products
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, I believe that these
advertisements
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 sometimes can be misleading and
also
Linking Words
 increase the cost of
items
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.
People
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 who think that
advertisements
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 provide
information
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 about various
products
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 and services claim that it is easy and convenient to know about the features of these
items
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.
Also
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, we can see different companies advertising their
items
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 on different platforms like on televisions, on various social media sites and even by sending text messages on mobile phones, so it is quite easy to compare the prices of various
products
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.
Moreover
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, with the help of these
advertisements
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,
people
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 can decide what to buy and what not, so they prove to be useful and informative.
However
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, in my opinion, most adverts provide wrong
information
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 to the customers. In the
advertisements
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, sometimes the specifications and
information
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 about the product are misleading,
also
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 the benefits explained about these
items
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 are not true, and unable to meet the buyer's expectations.
For example
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, there are many adverts regarding skin whitening creams in the market, and their prices are very high as well, but when
people
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 start to use them, they do not fulfil their promise as they do not work
upto
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up to
 the mark,
also
Linking Words
 many adverts do not reveal harmful impacts they have on consumer's health.
In addition
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, some online
advertisements
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 are fraudulent as well,
people
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 order
products
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 from various websites and after paying the money, the goods are not delivered to their homes. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
advertisements
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 provide beneficial
information
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 about various
items
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 that help consumers to identify features, I believe that some of them misguide the customers with fake and false promises,
also
Linking Words
 with unnecessary high prices, and some of them can be fraud as well.

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Task Achievement
Strive for a balanced discussion on both views before concluding with your own opinion. Including specific examples from both perspectives enhances the argument's depth.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to improve flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Ensure your examples are clear and directly support the point being made. Real-world examples or statistics could enhance argumentation.
General
Carefully proofread your essay to catch any grammatical errors or typos that might distract from your argument.
Structure
Introduction effectively sets up the essay's discussion points.
Task Achievement
You presented a clear personal stance, contributing to a strong conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs for each view and your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer awareness
  • persuasive techniques
  • emotional appeal
  • misleading advertisements
  • informed purchasing decisions
  • exaggeration
  • competition
  • innovation
  • higher price
  • product quality
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