Some people believe that successful sports teams are always those with the strongest or fittest players other things that successH discuss both view and give your opinion

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Some believe physically strong and fit
players
make a successful sports
team
.
While
others reckon mental strength has more to do with the success of a sports group.
Although
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
brain can give
players
some advantages, I believe having a robust physique gives
player
Add an article
a player
show examples
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
show examples
over his
competitor
Fix the agreement mistake
competitors
show examples
.
Players
go through extreme mental training
while
preparing for any competition. Learning how to keep calm and rely on your mental power
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
playing high-pressure games can
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
an edge off.
For example
, In
2012
Correct article usage
the 2012
show examples
cricket
Capitalize word
Cricket
show examples
World Cup, MS Dhoni, the Captain of
Indian
Add an article
the Indian
an Indian
show examples
cricket
team
, took his
team
from losing to winning in just one over by staying calm and playing cunningly.
Moreover
,
strategic
Correct article usage
a strategic
show examples
mind can help
players
not to get involved in heated arguments that
happens
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
among
opposition
Add an article
the opposition
show examples
.
However
, mental strength cannot win trophies for
players
if they lack physical fitness. I believe having a powerful demeanour and fit body can bring competing teams more closure to victories.
That is
to say, groups with more physically fit, athletes can perform great
overall
and can depend on their teammates during aggressive competition. Cristiano Ronaldo,
for instance
,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
tall
Correct word choice
tallest
show examples
and fittest body in the entire football
team
, which gives him more advantage in shooting goals from a great height.
Furthermore
, the crucial benefit of having a great masculine body is
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
of incurring injuries during close contact events
such
as rugby, basketball and wrestling. In conclusion, during cutthroat competitions,
players
with brutal physical
appearance
Fix the agreement mistake
appearances
show examples
can march towards victory more easily than the ones who have strong mental power.
Submitted by arvindpreet5040 on

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language
Ensure grammatical accuracy and improve sentence structure for better flow and clarity. Some sentences feel a bit awkward due to missing articles or slight grammatical errors.
task achievement
Further elaborate on your arguments. While examples like Cristiano Ronaldo are specific, consider exploring additional examples or points related to mental strength.
coherence and cohesion
The essay clearly evaluates both sides of the argument by discussing mental strength and physical fitness.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as MS Dhoni during the 2012 cricket World Cup, enrich the essay and back up your points effectively.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and aligns with the arguments presented throughout your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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