More and more people are moving to big cities these day. Discuss both advantages and disadvantages of living in a large city.
The issue of living in major
cities
has sparked considerable debate in recent times. Some people
believe that there are many benefits gained from the increasing number of people
moving to urban centres while
others claim that the drawbacks of this
trend
need to be fully considered. In my point of view, there are much more downsides to the given trend
. My essay will explain both the advantages and disadvantages of the issue.
On the one hand, there are some advantages gained from the trend
of more and more people
moving to big cities
these days. To begin
with, big cities
offer a wide range of employment opportunities across various industries. People
who come from rural areas seeking a job would decide to move to big cities
due to
the employment demands of businesses. Similarly
, the perception of a higher quality of life in cities
, such
as entertainment and cultural experiences, also
attracts a lot of people
. Furthermore
, large cities
typically have well-developed infrastructure, including transportation networks, healthcare facilities, and public services. As a result
, this
can make daily life more convenient and efficient.
On the other hand
, the disadvantages of this
trend
need to be fully considered. Initially
, one drawback is that urban areas often suffer from air pollution, noise pollution, and traffic congestion. The population of a city increases, so the amount of vehicles on the road and other problems. Consequently
, these environmental factors can negatively impact health and well-being. Another reason would be that cities
have higher crime rates than smaller towns or rural areas. This
can lead to feelings of insecurity and a need for increased safety measures. For example
, despite its reputation for being a vibrant and cosmopolitan city, New York City has historically faced challenges with crime.
To sum up
, my essay has explained some benefits and drawbacks of the trend
given, and it is really difficult to decide whether the trend
is positive or negative. However
, I support the idea the view that there are much more flaws in the issue. People
should take much more time to think carefully about the pros and cons of the trend
.Submitted by mgnm140307 on
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task achievement
While the essay presents relevant points, it would benefit from more detailed examples and statistical data to support the arguments. This would strengthen the overall task response.
task achievement
Consider revising the thesis statement to clearly state your stance on the topic. This will enhance the clarity of your argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is fully developed with clear topic sentences and concluding sentences. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical and phrasing issues that could be refined for better clarity. For example, "The population of a city increases, so the amount of vehicles on the road and other problems" can be clearer as "As the population of a city increases, so does the number of vehicles on the road, leading to other problems."
general
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have outlined both sides of the argument (advantages and disadvantages), which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
The points made are relevant to the topic and provide a foundation for discussion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.