The only reason why people work hard is to earn money and there is no other reason for doing so. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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When it comes to dedicating entirely yourself to working, it is likely to be viewed as for the purpose of increasing figures in your bank account. Frankly, I partly consent to the given statement, specifically
due to
the fact that there are other causes explaining why the devotion occurs.
Subsequently
, the paragraphs will extend my thoughts in clarification. On the one hand, earning money has always been a lifetime target, virtually for every individual. Some are in the fantasy of an affluent lifestyle,
therefore
, propelling individuals into extreme day-and-night work schedules with a high hope that it will make changes to people’s quality of life. Others would have been for looking after close ones,
for instance
. They have no choice but to push themselves to the limits, or may even exceed them, in order to support family members, lovers, and so on, especially those who have health problems or inability to get access to education,… Basically,
this
phenomenon is quite common, which can account for why some hold
such
a notion like that.
On the other hand
, it is not always about money that gives people motivation to perform their best at the workplace. Passion
also
co-exists in the whole picture of striving forward in your occupation. A portion of citizens are fortunate enough to obtain that, meaning not everyone works with their love for the job. When encountering an area of interest, individuals are more eager to spend full time as
this
could
also
act as their fun activities, making them sometimes feel entertained, despite some obstructions will kick in. Take
this
as an example, Khoai Lang Thang, who used to spend his childhood and early 20s farming, attained his dream to explore every corner of the world, and of course, challenges seen on his million-subscribe channel were there to deter him, yet he never gave up and has always been positive with regard to perspectives on a range of issues. In short, aspirations can play a significant role in determining your way of working. In conclusion, the purposes that hold people back with their bread and butter vary diversely. It can be related to demands, backgrounds, aspirations, and more.
Thus
, the conception that money is what people are looking forward to in a job is definitely a false one, and it should not be fitted into mould.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider tightening the structure of your argument by explicitly contrasting examples where people work primarily for money with those who work for passion or other reasons.
task achievement
Develop your examples further to ensure they are directly linked to the main points and add depth to your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument right from the start to better set up your discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
The essay explores different motivations for working, effectively identifying money and passion as dual drivers.
task achievement
Use of personal example with Khoai Lang Thang adds an engaging touch to your essay, making it relatable and vibrant.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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