In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In fact,
farmers
are emigrating to urban which means the population in the suburbs is reducing. I myself think that it has negative phenomena which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. To start with, in VN, agriculture is the most important economic. So when
farmers
are reduced in the
countryside
it could make the economy decline because there would be no one who takes care of the plants.
Besides
, when the
city
falls into a state of population explosion, the
city
will suffer from a serious lack of accommodation.
In addition
, if too many
people
appear, there will be no jobs.
Firstly
, because their expertise is farming when applying for a job, it is difficult for them to take on any other job.
Secondly
, the
city
is the place to receive the most scientific technology, so the agricultural industry that takes place in the
city
is biotechnology. They specialize in researching plant varieties and these things will not be suitable for
farmers
who moved from the
countryside
. We can't deny that there will be talented
people
in the
countryside
who can meet
this
condition, but unfortunately, they are only in the minority. We cannot deny that there will be talented
people
in the
countryside
who can afford
this
condition, but poorly they are only in the minority. Eventually, crowded land (thật ra là em muốn ghi đất chật người đông mà ko biết TA ghi ntn) leads to many consequences.
For example
, there are not enough jobs for them to do so they cannot afford to pay for their living expenses, leading to a sharp increase in homelessness in recent years. The more
people
move to the
city
the more it causes pollution. It went from many sides like more vehicles will be used proportionally to the more polluted gases emitted.
Along with
that, trash could be littered more than ever too. But, why do they know that or why everything happened, so they can come back to their hometown? Honestly, that's a very hard question that nobody can answer until now. I personally think that it depends on time. They gave up everything in their homeland and thought that when they moved to cities, they could change their lives and their families. They have spent too much enthusiasm, money, and time but the results are the opposite of what they wanted to learn. Having no support will lead to depression. They need a catalyst that can lift their spirits, but what will be that catalyst? In some ways, when we look at it with positive eyes, the
city
would become racially diverse when a lot of there are many other ethnic groups migrating to the
city
.
Besides
that, traditional foods around the country will grow strongly and lots of
people
can easily access and experience them.
To sum up
, the truth is always ruthless, the
city
is like a double-edged sword, only those who overcome it will find happiness, and those who fail will lose their will.
Farmers
before deciding to go to the
city
, need to prepare carefully. Unless leave yourself a way out, you will lose everything.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs to enhance understanding.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitions or linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument with relevant examples.
task achievement
Clarify your main points to enhance clarity and comprehension.
task achievement
The essay addresses both potential drawbacks and benefits of rural migration to cities.
task achievement
Provides relevant examples related to Vietnam's agricultural economy.
coherence cohesion
There is a thoughtful introduction and a concise conclusion that sums up the essay well.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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