Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

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Some

argues

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argue

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that the government should stop

people

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Change preposition

from

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doing dangerous

sports

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while

Linking Words

others believe that individuals should have their own choice to do it freely. Banning

Linking Words

this kind

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these kinds

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activities

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will promote

safety

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within the community

as well as

Linking Words

limit the opportunities for

people

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to do extreme

sports

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To begin

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with, completely stopping extreme

sports

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will increase the

safety

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of the

people

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and the community. If

this

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is implemented, it will lessen the

possibilities

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possibility

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of acquiring injuries on the road and streets.

For instance

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, one of the dangerous

sports

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includes skateboarding,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

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is an injury-prone activity,

furthermore

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, individuals can easily suffer from fractures or even head

injury

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injuries

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which are serious conditions especially if

people

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are hard-headed and do it on the streets or highways.

As a result

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, road accidents which

involves

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involve

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drivers and skateboarders will decrease

as well as

Linking Words

promoting

Wrong verb form

promote

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road

safety

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Conversely

Linking Words

, some will be devastated when the government approves

this

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

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because

this

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will not only remove the chance for others to experience high-adrenaline

sports

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but

also

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affects

Correct subject-verb agreement

affect

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some businesses which are involved in executing these

activities

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Moreover

Linking Words

, these days, new generations are into

activities

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that will hype them up like cliff diving and

bunjee

Correct your spelling

bungee

jumping and completely stopping it will

loose

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lose

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their opportunities.

Additionally

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this

Linking Words

will cause

loss

Correct article usage

a loss

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of income to companies that established a location for

sports

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this

Linking Words

, and if unfortunate, in the

end

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end,

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will lead to

closure

Add an article

the closure

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of businesses. In conclusion, if the

authority

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authorities

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banned dangerous

activities

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this

Linking Words

will

Wrong verb form

would

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demonstrate more

safety

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Change preposition

for

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both the

people

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and the environment.

However

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, I believe that doing

this

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will provide more negative results

such

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as hindering

people

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to try and

experience

Wrong verb form

experiencing

show examples

adrenaline-rush

sports

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as well as

Linking Words

affecting small and huge companies' income.

Submitted by cng123 on Sat Nov 30 2024

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task achievement

To improve the task response, try to expand on your ideas with more specific examples or details. For instance, provide an example from a specific sport or incident that highlights the benefits of banning dangerous sports or allowing freedom of choice.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are clearly presented and developed throughout the essay. Consider using transition words to guide the reader through your points more seamlessly, enhancing overall coherence. This will help in creating a more logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

While you have presented a balanced view, ensure that both perspectives are equally elaborated. Consider developing the paragraph against the ban more comprehensively with examples to provide deeper insights.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, with a well-presented stance that discusses both sides of the argument effectively.

coherence cohesion

There is a good use of structured paragraphs, each addressing a specific point of view, which helps to maintain focus and clarity throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

In many cities the population is increasing. Some say that the urbanisation process denies us knowing our neighbors, and this causes a loss of community sense. What is the main problem with this? What measures can be taken to overcome it?

Social media promote a healthy or unhealthy lifestyle? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.