IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainlynegative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, other claimthat it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages oftourism and give your opinion.

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Over the past five decades, the
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry has expanded significantly, becoming one of the leading contributors to the global economy.
While
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 many argue that
tourism
Use synonyms
 supports economic growth and creates employment opportunities, others contend that it brings negative consequences for local communities and the natural environment.
This
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 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of
tourism
Use synonyms
 before presenting a personal opinion. One of the primary benefits of
tourism
Use synonyms
 is its positive impact on the economy.
Tourism
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 creates jobs in various sectors
such
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 as hospitality, transportation, and entertainment, thereby reducing unemployment and boosting local incomes.
Additionally
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, it encourages infrastructure development,
such
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 as improved roads, airports, and public services, which can benefit both tourists and residents.
For example
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, countries like Thailand and Greece heavily rely on
tourism
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 as a major source of national revenue.
However
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, the rapid growth of
tourism
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 can lead to serious drawbacks. A key concern is the strain on the environment. Popular tourist destinations often suffer from pollution, habitat destruction, and overuse of natural resources.
For instance
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, coral reefs and pristine beaches can be damaged by excessive human activity.
Moreover
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, local communities may face rising living costs
due to
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 increased demand for goods and housing, which can result in displacement and loss of cultural identity. In some cases, residents may
also
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 feel overwhelmed by large crowds and a constant influx of outsiders. In my opinion,
although
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tourism
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 presents certain environmental and social challenges, it remains a valuable industry when managed responsibly. With proper regulations and sustainable practices, governments can minimize the negative effects
while
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 maximizing the benefits for both the economy and local people. In conclusion,
tourism
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 plays a vital role in economic development but
also
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 brings challenges for the environment and local communities. A balanced approach that promotes sustainable
tourism
Use synonyms
 is essential to ensure that its advantages outweigh the disadvantages in the long term.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to enhance clarity and support your arguments. While you mentioned Thailand and Greece, adding additional examples could strengthen your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your conclusion, you could reiterate your opinion more emphatically to leave a stronger impression. This would help reinforce your stance in the reader's mind.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the flow between ideas, try using more varied linking words and phrases. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You effectively present both sides of the argument and provide a balanced view, demonstrating an understanding of the complexities of tourism.
Task Achievement
The use of examples to illustrate points made about the economic benefits of tourism adds depth to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • infrastructure
  • cultural exchange
  • overcrowding
  • resource management
  • environmental degradation
  • community displacement
  • social tensions
  • economic vulnerability
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