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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates data about underground
Use synonyms
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
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 in London, Paris,
Tokyo
Use synonyms
, Washington, Kyoto and Los Angeles From 1863 to 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
passengers
Use synonyms
in contrast
Linking Words
 to other cities.
While
Linking Words
 Kyoto took the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
passengers
Use synonyms
 and
Kms
Correct your spelling
km
 of route .
To begin
Linking Words
, in 1863,
Correct article usage
the London
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London
Change noun form
London's
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underground
Capitalize word
Underground
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railway
Use synonyms
 was opened, it was the oldest one with 775
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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passengers
Use synonyms
 per year and it
covers
Wrong verb form
covered
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 a distance
around
Change preposition
of around
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 394
Kms
Correct your spelling
Km
 which is the largest distance compared to other cities.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Tokyo
Use synonyms
's
railway
Use synonyms
opend
Correct your spelling
opened
open
 in 1927, which had the biggest
number
Use synonyms
 of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 about 1927
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millions
Change to singular
million
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 followed by
Paris
Correct article usage
the Paris
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 train at 1191
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millions
Change to singular
million
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passengers
Use synonyms
 which took
second
Change the article
the second
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 rank.
Further
Linking Words
 analyzing, in 1976, Washington DC underground
railway
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 opened with
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
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 of routes than Landon, Paris and
Tokyo
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 for 126 Km and 144 million
passengers
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. Kyoto and Los Angeles have the
medern
Change the capitalization
Medern
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 trains opened in 1981 and 2001 with
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
passengers
Use synonyms
 about 45 and 50
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 respectively.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words railway, tokyo, number, passengers, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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