Some people think computers and the Internet are important in children's study, but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discus both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own I knowledge or experience.

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The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in the popularity of computers and the Internet in the process of learning.

While

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some may laud its convenience, others argue that learning in

schools

Use synonyms

with tutors is more efficient. In

this

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essay, I intend to discuss both these perspectives and give my own opinion. First of all, it is an irrefutable fact that technology has facilitated the process of learning. Prevailing the utilization of electronic gadgets

as well as

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the internet in the process of

education

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has made attending

schools

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or educational institutions redundant, resulting in saving time and energy for learners.

For instance

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, in a research conducted in several

schools

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in Tehran, students admitted that in the pandemic of Covid 19 and prevailing remote

education

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, 2 hours were saved for them during weekdays.

Additionally

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, removing the commute between home and school diminishes air and noise pollution, resulting in ecological improvement. So, promoting online

education

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is beneficial for both humans and the environment.

Nonetheless

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, I believe that face-to-face

education

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with teachers’ supervision could not be instituted by online

education

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. Attending

schools

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, exposing to an educational question-answer atmosphere and communicating with peers could be accompanied by more competition and encouragement to study more.

According to

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the statistics published by the World

Education

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Organization in 2020, using online

education

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during the coronavirus contributed to an exponential decline in students’ grades especially in mathematics and physics. So, rather than underestimating the benefits of going to school, more emphasis should be put on conventional methods which are sometimes the most effective ones. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that

although

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attending school may be accompanied by some inconvenience, its merits far surpass online

education

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Furthermore

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, equipping public transport by governments could facilitate the transportation challenges to students.

golriiz.azizi1991Sat Nov 30 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to balance the length of the paragraphs about each view. The first paragraph seems slightly more developed than the second, which can affect the perceived balance in discussion.

task achievement

Try to provide more varied examples to support each point, enhancing the essay's credibility and informative value.

coherence cohesion

Avoid using overly complex structures at the expense of clarity. Sentences should be concise and clear to improve overall understanding.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transition between ideas, particularly when shifting from arguments in favor of online learning to those about in-person education.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion.

task achievement

You have included relevant examples to support your arguments and provided a well-rounded discussion of both views.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's position and ties the essay together.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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