Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that it is a positive or negative development?

#sport #business #companies #events #development

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An increasing number of

companies

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are engaging in

sports

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events

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sports

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become more commercialized.

This

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essay will outline the underlying factors related to

this

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phenomenon,

such

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as profit generation and

loss

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of sporting integrity, and discuss whether

this

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trend is beneficial or harmful. On the positive side, given

sports

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events

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have a sizable audience, they allow

companies

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to introduce their

products

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through

such

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events

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. These

sports

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events

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such

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as the World Cup or Olympics, gather many individuals, providing a platform to advertise

products

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and services, effectively capturing the attention. In fact, advertising

products

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sports

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events

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enables

Change the verb form

enable

show examples

companies

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to generate greater profits,

whereas

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they might not earn financial gain if these

events

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did not take place.

However

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, I believe that alternative options,

such

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as media outlets or digital platforms, enable corporations to launch their items. On the negative side,

due to

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the

loss

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of sporting integrity,

this

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development is not suitable for

sports

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events

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This

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means that commercialization may lead to

further

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focus on advertised

products

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rather than

sports

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events

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, potentially reducing the authenticity and spirit of the competition. A prime example of commercialization in

sports

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events

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is the involvement of cosmetic brands. As

companies

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often introduce their

products

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in an appealing manner, the attention of many fans and athletes is drawn to them, potentially leading to decreased athlete satisfaction and performance.

Thus

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this

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decreased focus can lead to a

loss

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of the essence of

sports

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events

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that should not be overlooked. In conclusion,

although

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the commercialization of

sports

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events

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can be financially advantageous for

companies

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due to

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the generation of profits, it

also

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raises concerns about the potential

loss

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of sporting integrity and erosion of authenticity

Submitted by hongminh317 on Sat Nov 30 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure all parts of the task are fully developed, especially the examination of both positive and negative aspects of commercialization in sports.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to illustrate points, particularly when discussing the negative impacts of commercialization on sports integrity.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain consistent use of cohesive devices to strengthen the logical flow between ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main arguments effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Main points are well-organized and logically structured, which supports understanding of the arguments presented.

Task Achievement

Ideas are clearly stated and demonstrate understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

278 words

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Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that it is a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Students in some countries leave school without good understanding of how to manage their money. What do you think are the reasons? What are the solutions to this problem？

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos while others think that zoos are both entertainment and fun, discuss both the views and give your opinions.

There is an increasing trend around the wprld of married couples deciding not to have children.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for the couples who decide to do thid.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do y