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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, the traditions and customs relating to the food we eat and the way we eat are changing. Why is this happening? Do you think this kind of change is positive or negative?

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These days,
food
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 traditions and eating
habits
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 are changing because of several reasons, including immigration and the development of the
Internet
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. From my perspective, these changes can be positive, as
cultures
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 from abroad can be introduced to others,
whereas
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 local culture might be weakened. Owing to immigration and the widespread use of the
Internet
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,
food
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 customs and eating
habits
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 have become significantly different from before.
Firstly
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, immigrants often bring their traditional foods to the places where they stay. In the beginning, they may not be used to local flavours;
therefore
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, they cook cuisines from their own
cultures
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. As time goes by,
this
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food
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 can be shared with neighbours and change residents' appetites. As for the
Internet
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, the widespread availability of information about foreign
food
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 may lead people to cook or try different types of dishes. In my opinion, these differences can be seen as a positive development. By tasting different flavours from other parts of the world, people can learn not only about new cooking skills but
also
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 about new ingredients and spices.
Moreover
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, individuals are able to understand other
cultures
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 more deeply.
However
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, there are still a few drawbacks,
such
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 as the decrease in cultural differences.
Therefore
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, people may end up eating the same kinds of
food
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due to
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 changes in eating
habits
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.
To conclude
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, the causes of changes in
food
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 traditions and eating
habits
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 nowadays are immigration and the development of the
Internet
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. Because of
this
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, locals are more easily able to understand more about exotic foods and
further
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 change the way they eat. Even though there are still a few disadvantages,
such
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 as cultural differences gradually disappearing, I believe it is a positive change for society, as it can lead residents to learn about other
cultures
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.

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task response
For task response, answer both parts more fully. You explain why change happens, and you give your view, but your reasons for why it is good need more depth.
task response
For task response, add one or two clear real life examples. This will make your ideas stronger and more exact.
task response
For task response, be careful with your main view. You say the change is positive, but you also say local culture may be weakened. Explain this balance more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. Still, some ideas could flow better from one sentence to the next.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use linking words with more care. Some links are good, but a few parts feel a little repeated, like 'change' and 'culture'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, support each main point more. The idea about food helping people learn culture is good, but it needs a more full explanation.
task response
For task response, you answer both questions in the task.
task response
For task response, your opinion is clear: you think this change is mostly positive.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow overall.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use paragraphs well, with one main idea in each part.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you have both an introduction and a conclusion.
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