Some people say in order to prevent illness and diseases government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problem, to what extent you agree or disagree?

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These days, the big matter that countries have is illness, so a group of people think that
this
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trend can be solved by authorities when they create a chance that the number of poisoned items in the surroundings and the number of homeless and homes that have bad situations decline. I subscribe to
this
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idea owing to the fact that both pollution and poor sanitation impact health a lot. On the one hand, the fact
that is
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really important is that environmental pollution has a lot of effects on human health.
firstly
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, when the air, soil, and water are full of toxic material, a number of species, most of them have a positive influence on people's health like trees, die out; in fact, we do not have access to them for fresh air, taking drugs, and so on.
In addition
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, we use the ingredients that grow in an environment and are full of harmful items like Hg, Nitrogen and so on;
as a result
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, we get diverse diseases namely, cancer, high blood pressure and so forth.
On the other hand
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, a range of Bacteria and viruses are epidemic by living in the dirty areas;
consequently
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, governments have to invest money to rebuild old residential regions to the new ones that have a lot of accommodations and the level of their Sanitation is high. To illustrate, in the New York subway, the figure of ill people is too much.
To conclude
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, In my opinion, authorities are able to Prevent illnesses by requiring some factors, which are a clean environment and upgrading the citizens' sanitation by a good place for their residents.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of the ideas by explaining key points in more detail. For example, elaborate on how pollution reduction directly correlates with improved health outcomes.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your argument, such as referencing specific government programs that have successfully tackled pollution or housing problems.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a coherent flow of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a good introduction and conclusion, setting the context and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
The response to the task is generally complete, discussing both pollution and housing as factors impacting health.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental pollution
  • Respiratory illnesses
  • Waterborne diseases
  • Inadequate housing
  • Sanitation
  • Public health
  • Healthcare costs
  • Quality of life
  • Climate-related impacts
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Green building practices
  • Living conditions
  • Preventing illnesses
  • Government interventions
  • Proliferation of diseases
  • Access to clean water
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