Wealthy countries should acceptor refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what do you agree or disagree?

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Providing the needs
such
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as meals and shelter for exiles should be assigned to developed
countries
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. I agree with
this
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method because welcoming them to already sustained
countries
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could help
refugees
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boost their social mobility and
further
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, stimulate the country's
economy
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. First and foremost, because they can provide a good standard of basic necessities to the citizens without damaging their own
economy
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, wealthy nations can be a safe place for many
refugees
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to increase their quality of life. These opportunities are essential for their mental and emotional recovery after experiencing trauma in their home
countries
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.
For example
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, migrants who came from conflict areas in the Middle East were
finally
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able to improve their lives in Canada by accessing healthcare and education opportunities that were previously unavailable to them.
Moreover
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, An increase in economic activity is one of the reasons why
countries
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should take in
refugees
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. In
countries
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with an ageing workforce, these new citizens help balance the age gaps and cover the jobs that need to be filled.
In addition
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, they pay taxes, establish small and medium enterprises, and stimulate the
economy
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.
For example
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, in Germany, these new citizens have played a crucial role in revitalizing local economies by filling labour shortages, particularly in industries like construction, and agriculture.
This
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influx of new talent not only strengthens the
economy
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but
also
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enhances cultural diversity, making the country more dynamic and competitive on the global stage. In conclusion, developed
countries
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can support
refugees
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which not only helps
refugees
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rebuild their lives but
also
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increases economic growth and addresses demographic challenges.
Submitted by azami06mufa on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas smoothly across sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion by reiterating key points and summarizing the overall argument.
task achievement
Provide a clear position on the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement in the introduction.
task achievement
Further develop the examples by providing more specific details and elaborations.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and insightful response to the task, effectively addressing the issue of developed countries assisting refugees.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as Canada and Germany, effectively supports the arguments and enhances credibility.
coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits a logical flow with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are generally well connected, and key points are supported with relevant examples.
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