The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend.Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Should
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
week be shorter so employees could have extra
days
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for
weekends
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.
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?
show examples
In my
opinion
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opinion,
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I agree with the notion of longer
weekends
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owing to the fact that enjoyment with family, more
time
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for
hobbies
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, and
work
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-life balance. When one
get
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gets
show examples
longer
weekends
Use synonyms
,
people
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use that
time
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to spend with the family. It is because many
indivulads
Correct your spelling
individuals
do not get sufficient
time
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to spend. Times of India reported only about 25%
working
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of working
show examples
peole
Correct your spelling
people
spend quality
time
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with their spouse and
childrens
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children
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and other
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
who do not spend
time
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with their family
having
Wrong verb form
have
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higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
chance of developing mental health
risk
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risks
show examples
in future.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
many, many families are
break
Wrong verb form
breaking
show examples
up which
indireclty
Correct your spelling
indirectly
directly
impacting on
Wrong verb form
impacts
show examples
children emotionally. Extra holidays could provide a chance to
repaire
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repair
the damage causing for longer working
days
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.
Furtermore
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Furthermore
,
hobbies
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are extremely important
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
shape human
behvaiour
Correct your spelling
behaviour
and thought. In modern
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
,
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
work load
Correct your spelling
the workload
show examples
at offices, many
Correct your spelling
people
peole
Correct your spelling
people
are unable to engage in
hobbies
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as in earlier times.
Many
Correct quantifier usage
Much
show examples
resaerch
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research
shows that the workload has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
drastially
Correct your spelling
dramatically
increased from past years to now which left no
time
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for
indiviulads
Correct your spelling
individuals
to develop or focus on
hobbies
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, when one
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
extra
time
Use synonyms
for
weekend
Add an article
the weekend
a weekend
show examples
they would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spend
on
Correct pronoun usage
it on
show examples
their
hobbies
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to get away from the
work
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stress.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
worklife
Correct your spelling
work-life
work life
balance can be
achive
Correct your spelling
achieved
achieve
easily. It is because most of them
work
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5
days
Use synonyms
a week, if the
weekends
Use synonyms
are longer
people
Use synonyms
could make
work
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-life balance. As the ratio for working
days
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and holidays will be nearly same.
Recenlty
Correct your spelling
Recently
,
NewZealand
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
been
show examples
in favour of passing a law for 4
days
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wokring
Correct your spelling
working
which will benefit the
people
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indireclty
Correct your spelling
indirectly
. Which in turn,
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
less burnout from
work
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that will lead to productivity. In
conculusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
consdering
Correct your spelling
considering
all the
aboe
Correct your spelling
above
mentioned benefits like families can thrive with loved
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
could
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spend
Change the verb form
spent
show examples
more
time
Use synonyms
on
hobbies
Use synonyms
and
work
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-life
hobbies
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay
conclude
Change the verb form
concludes
show examples
that having
a longer
Correct the article-noun agreement
a longer weekend
longer weekends
show examples
weekends
Use synonyms
would certainly change
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
for
better
Correct article usage
the better
show examples
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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language
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to make your arguments clearer and more polished.
content
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main thesis and that examples are directly related to the point being made.
content
Provide more detailed explanations and examples to improve the depth of analysis.
structure
Consider organizing your points more logically to enhance flow and readability.
content
The introduction clearly states your position and main supporting points, which is effective for setting up the essay.
content
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed and reiterates the thesis.
content
You've included relevant points about family time, hobbies, and work-life balance which are pertinent to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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