IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many people these days rely on traditional medicines rather than going to doctors. What are the causes? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #medicines #doctors #development
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Traditional
medicine
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
such
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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conventional
medicine
used
Wrong verb form
uses
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 natural
ingridients
Correct your spelling
ingredients
 with less processing
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
. Traditional
medicine
had been existing
Wrong verb form
has existed
show examples
 for a long time and
rely
Correct subject-verb agreement
relies
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 on natural resources.
Consist
Correct subject-verb agreement
Consists
show examples
100
Change preposition
of 100
show examples
% natural
ingridients
Correct your spelling
ingredients
, makes traditional
medicine
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
safe for daily
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
, of course with
right
Correct article usage
the right
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proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
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 and components.
Therefore
, consuming traditional
medicine
 can make
body
Add an article
the body
a body
show examples
 fit, shinning hair, and clear the skin with
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 side effects.
However
, For curing high-level
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
,
for
example
Add a comma
example,
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 cancer, perhaps
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 not
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 idea, because traditional
medicine
Change noun form
medicine's
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 effects are slower than chemical pharmacy, the effect just
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 out if we consume
continiously
Correct your spelling
continuously
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
thus
, people still need
going
Change the verb form
to go
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 to doctors
for checking
Change preposition
to check
show examples
 out their actual conditions and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
chemical
Correct article usage
a chemical
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 pharmacy if their condition
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 it. In summary, we can say
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 positive to
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
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 traditional
medicine
 rather
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 chemical
parmacy
Correct your spelling
pharmacy
.
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 if the disease is high level just go to the
doctors
Fix the agreement mistake
doctor
show examples
.
Submitted by raudahalimah on

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coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction to give a preview of your main points.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or evidence to support your claims about traditional medicine, such as studies or personal anecdotes.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the advantages and disadvantages more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have adequately introduced the topic of traditional medicine and its benefits.
task achievement
You showed awareness of both the positive and negative sides of using traditional medicine.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Natural remedies
  • Cost-effective
  • Medical skepticism
  • Adverse side effects
  • Pharmaceutical companies
  • Accessibility
  • Rural regions
  • Anecdotal success stories
  • Holistic approach
  • Treat the root cause
  • Conventional medicine
  • Traditional practices
  • Economic factors
  • Trust and belief systems
What to do next:
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