Some people believe that the internet is increasing the gap between the rich and poo, while others argue that it help to reduce the gap. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
argue that the
Internet
Use synonyms
is responsible for increasing the gap between rich and poor,
while
Linking Words
other
people
Use synonyms
believe that the
Internet
Use synonyms
actually helps to reduce the gap. I personally believe that
while
Linking Words
the
Internet
Use synonyms
brings
people
Use synonyms
closer, it actually reflects the inequality and
discrimination
Use synonyms
among
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
show examples
and poor. Some
people
Use synonyms
believe that the
Internet
Use synonyms
actually helps to reduce the gap because it brings
people
Use synonyms
closer. With the help of the
Internet
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
around the world can communicate with each other without barriers.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
throughout the world can chat and share their thoughts and feelings with each other on social media without even knowing each other.
This
Linking Words
only becomes possible because of the advancement of the
Internet
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I personally believe that the
Internet
Use synonyms
actually fosters
discrimination
Use synonyms
because
people
Use synonyms
become upset seeing the
happiness
Use synonyms
of
others
Use synonyms
. The
Internet
Use synonyms
promotes
discrimination
Use synonyms
because
people
Use synonyms
sometimes get upset seeing the
happiness
Use synonyms
of
others
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Internet
Use synonyms
. It is a genuine human nature that
people
Use synonyms
always compare themselves with
others
Use synonyms
. When someone sees the happy faces of his friends
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Internet
Use synonyms
, they might get upset if they are in a sad mood.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey from Australia revealed that around 57% of Australians do not like using social media because they believe that it reduces their
happiness
Use synonyms
because they have to endure the
happiness
Use synonyms
of
others
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I personally believe that the
Internet
Use synonyms
actually discriminates among
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe that
while
Linking Words
the
Internet
Use synonyms
makes communication easier for
people
Use synonyms
, it actually promotes
discrimination
Use synonyms
and inequality.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to support your points, such as mentioning how the internet has provided educational or employment opportunities to underprivileged groups.
task achievement
Ensure a balance in discussing both views by elaborating more on how the internet bridges the gap for underprivileged communities through access to information and opportunities.
coherence cohesion
Consider enhancing your transitions and linking phrases between ideas for smoother flow of ideas, which would improve overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion points.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, providing a well-rounded view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-organized with logical progression, which helps maintain clarity throughout the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: