Some people believe that the internet is increasing the gap between the rich and poo, while others argue that it help to reduce the gap. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #internet #gap #poo

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Some

people

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argue that the

Internet

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is responsible for increasing the gap between rich and poor,

while

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other

people

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believe that the

Internet

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actually helps to reduce the gap. I personally believe that

while

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the

Internet

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brings

people

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closer, it actually reflects the inequality and

discrimination

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among

rich

Correct article usage

the rich

show examples

and poor. Some

people

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believe that the

Internet

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actually helps to reduce the gap because it brings

people

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closer. With the help of the

Internet

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people

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around the world can communicate with each other without barriers.

For example

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people

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throughout the world can chat and share their thoughts and feelings with each other on social media without even knowing each other.

This

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only becomes possible because of the advancement of the

Internet

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However

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, I personally believe that the

Internet

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actually fosters

discrimination

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because

people

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become upset seeing the

happiness

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others

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. The

Internet

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promotes

discrimination

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because

people

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sometimes get upset seeing the

happiness

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others

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Change preposition

show examples

the

Internet

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. It is a genuine human nature that

people

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always compare themselves with

others

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. When someone sees the happy faces of his friends

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show examples

the

Internet

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, they might get upset if they are in a sad mood.

For instance

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, a survey from Australia revealed that around 57% of Australians do not like using social media because they believe that it reduces their

happiness

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because they have to endure the

happiness

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others

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Therefore

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, I personally believe that the

Internet

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actually discriminates among

people

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. In conclusion, I believe that

while

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the

Internet

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makes communication easier for

people

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, it actually promotes

discrimination

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and inequality.

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Tue Dec 03 2024

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task achievement

Include more specific examples or data to support your points, such as mentioning how the internet has provided educational or employment opportunities to underprivileged groups.

task achievement

Ensure a balance in discussing both views by elaborating more on how the internet bridges the gap for underprivileged communities through access to information and opportunities.

coherence cohesion

Consider enhancing your transitions and linking phrases between ideas for smoother flow of ideas, which would improve overall coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion points.

task achievement

You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, providing a well-rounded view of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Main points are well-organized with logical progression, which helps maintain clarity throughout the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Some people believe that the internet is increasing the gap between the rich and poo, while others argue that it help to reduce the gap. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to tackle environmental issues. Others believe it is up to each individual to be environmentally responsible. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Nowadays, lots of household waste is a problem. What is the cause of this problem and how can we solve the issue?

It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gaied from books. In your opinion, which source is more important and why?

ln many parts of the world, children orc given more freedom than in the past. ls this a positive or o negative development?

Some people think that they can be fit by going to gym, while others think there are other better way to remain fit. Discuss both views and give your opinion.