People in the are not fit and active. What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to encourage people to participate in sports activities?

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It is universally acknowledged that

people

Use synonyms

nowadays are not fit and active. In my opinion, I believe that the situation stems from the busy city lives in modern societies.

To begin

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with, with the development of technology,

people

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have to work hard and enhance their ability to solve problems to stay competitive in order to prevent themselves from being replaced by machines.

Moreover

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, it is not that simple for humankind to be active, after their work,

people

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are so exhausted that they just want to lie on beds to relax,

not to mention

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exercise after a tired day.

Besides

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, the attraction of social media

also

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brings about

this

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issue,

people

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would like to scroll through their phones and computers in their spare time rather than maintain their health.

As a result

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, individuals are prone to concentrate more on the Internet and their work

instead

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of spending time engaging in sports activities or making any effort to stay fit. To encourage

people

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to participate in sports activities, some benefits can be introduced to individuals. First of all, governments or enterprises can publicize that only by doing physical activities can workers improve their strength and mental health, increase their efficiency of working, and achieve better performance in

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

Subsequently

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, those administrations can hold some sports competitions and provide fascinating prizes to attract citizens to join,

thus

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accomplishing the aim of pushing humankind to pursue a healthier life. In conclusion, it is essential for

people

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to live in a work-life balance way. To deal with the rising ignorance of the importance of exercising, some methods should be taken into account. By doing so,

people

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can become fitter and more active than ever.

Submitted by n6160978224716 on Sat Nov 02 2024

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task achievement

Include more specific examples to illustrate your points, such as mentioning specific sports that could be encouraged or particular policies governments could implement.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear, single focus to enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for your argument.

task achievement

Your main ideas are generally clear and well-articulated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public safety
strain on public health resources
individual freedom
autonomy
personal growth
resilience
sense of accomplishment
proper regulations
safety measures
economic benefits
revenue from tourism
hosting events
injuries
fatalities

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People in the are not fit and active. What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to encourage people to participate in sports activities?

Fully explain your ideas

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, prefer to take risks and think that change is a positive thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?