IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Exploring the outer space should be considered as a part of every countries budgeting. What are the advantages or disadvantages of such a need?

#space #part #countries
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Including exploring
Correct word choice
Exploring
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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outer space as a new spend in
financial
Add an article
the financial
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 plan of every country has two main disadvantages for citizens
such
Linking Words
 as
smaller
Correct article usage
a smaller
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 budget for country
spends
Wrong verb form
spending
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 and high risk to
First
Change the article
The first
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 disadvantage is that reordering
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
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 of
country
Add an article
the country
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to
Change preposition
for
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space exploring
Add a hyphen
space-exploring
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 will cut off some
spends
Replace the word
spending
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 on local facilities.
Submitted by hermanzyskin.edu on

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on your key points, providing concrete examples or additional details to enhance understanding. This will make your essay more comprehensive and engaging.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly, with a clear connection between ideas. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
The essay introduces a new perspective on budget allocation, which is an interesting angle to analyze.
coherence cohesion
Your essay opens with a clear statement of the task, directly addressing the budgeting issue, which sets a solid foundation for discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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