Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some proponents contend that pursuing preferred careers should be the top priority for the younger generation,
while
others argue that choosing practical occupations is more important. In my view, both opinions are entirely reasonable but I lean toward the latter
due to
the benefits it offers. Regarding
individuals
who choose to pursue their favourite
jobs
, a key benefit to consider is
the
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overall
well-being. By engaging in preferred professions, their mental health will significantly improve because they are likely to experience job satisfaction.
Additionally
, it fosters creativity, motivating
individuals
to excel in their chosen fields.
As a result
, those pursuing their dreams can achieve remarkable success in life.
For example
, Pablo Picasso, one of the most renowned artists in history, created many unique masterpieces by dedicating his entire life to his passion.
However
, others assert that choosing realistic careers is more advantageous
due to
the high demands in society. Indeed, practical
jobs
, specifically associated with the IT sector, often play a significant role in driving business growth.
As a result
, companies frequently offer an ideal working environment, including high salaries and attractive benefits
such
as flexible working hours and training sponsorship, to attract talented employees.
Furthermore
, these
jobs
require
individuals
to continually expand their knowledge and refine their specialized skills to stay current with global developments, thereby motivating continuous self-improvement.
For instance
, software engineers employed by financial corporations in Vietnam,
such
as Momo and Viettel, often earn competitive salaries exceeding 45 million VND monthly. They
also
enjoy attractive benefits, including remote work options, cutting-edge technical workshops, English language classes, and monthly bonuses. In conclusion,
while
preferred
jobs
can provide a sense of satisfaction and tranquillity, I believe that young
individuals
should pursue practical careers with high societal demands to secure financial stability and promote continuous personal growth.
Submitted by Mads on

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure to address the counterargument more explicitly if possible.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the argument.
task achievement
Each point made in support of the argument is well-explained and supported by relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates logical structure, moving smoothly from one idea to the next.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
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