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Writing Samples
Band 7

: People today get less sleep than in the past. What is the cause of this? What are the possible effects of this development?

#people #effects #development
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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is the decrease in the number of hours
people
 sleep compared to previous generations. It is undeniable that
this
 trend has become an essential part of our life. In
this
essay
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 I will look at the causes of the phenomenon and examine its effects on individuals and society as a whole. One of the main causes of reduced sleep is electricity. The invention of artificial light has extended the length of our active hours, allowing
people
 to stay awake long after the natural daylight has disappeared.
This
 development has led to a significant disruption in sleep patterns. Another major factor is new technologies, particularly smartphones and other electronic devices. These gadgets, which serve as a source of entertainment and information, have become distractions, often keeping
people
 engaged late into the night. The first cause mentioned above has led to fatigue. Lack of rest reduces physical energy and mental alertness, leading to irritability and poor decision-making, which in turn can strain relationships and reduce
overall
 productivity. Another problem that follows is memory and learning challenges. Sleep deprivation interferes with cognitive processes
such
 as attention, problem-solving, and memory retention, ultimately affecting academic and professional performance. Having weighed everything mentioned
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, we can conclude that the increasing prevalence of sleep deprivation is closely linked to technological advancements and the widespread use of electricity. So it would not be surprising to see
further
 consequences of
this
 issue in the near future.
In other words
, if
people
 do not prioritize rest, the negative effects on health and social well-being may intensify, and society must be prepared to address these challenges.
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relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your main points. This can strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure your main ideas are clear and explore them comprehensively. Consider expanding on some points, especially regarding the effects on society.
complete response
The essay provides a complete response to the task by addressing both causes and effects.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is clear with a strong introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence
The use of transitional phrases between paragraphs aids in maintaining coherence and making the essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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