IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think that this trend is positive or negative?

#people #reduction #air #travel #future #trend
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some say that tourism by air will decrease in the next few decades.
This
 essay totally agrees with
this
 trend because of technological advancement and people would pay more attention to the environment. On the one hand, aircraft have a dramatic impact on the environment, as a huge amount of carbon emission is emitted from each flight causing a harmful effect on our habitats. The massive fuel consumed by airplanes is damaging the ozone layer making habitats exposed directly to UV rays, which is demonstrated to trigger a range of diseases for human skin. On top of that, a reduction in air
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
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 usage could harm economies reliant on tourism and a larger number of people who
working
Change the form of the verb
work
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 in the aviation
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
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 could be unemployed.
On the other hand
, the other reason is the innovation in technology, the high-speed train is a model of transportation
that is
 popular currently and is being installed in some developed nations.
Therefore
 in the future,
this
 kind of transport might become the main alternative method of moving between countries
instead
 of aviation. In conclusion, the decline of air tourism could negatively impact globalization and ease international communication,
however
, it
bring
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brings
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 a beneficial option by
fosters
Wrong verb form
fostering
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 other alternative transportation
that is
 more eco-friendly with the environment.
Submitted by kyobi46455 on

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support
Ensure all main points are equally supported with examples. For instance, the discussion about technological advancements could benefit from examples of existing technologies or countries adopting high-speed trains.
introduction
Refine your thesis statement in the introduction to ensure it clearly outlines all the key points you will discuss in the essay.
clarity
Work on improving the fluency and clarity of your arguments. Some ideas can be expressed more coherently by rephrasing sentences or using more precise vocabulary.
introduction
The essay starts with a clear position on the topic, making it easy for the reader to understand the writer's stance.
balanced perspective
The essay addresses both sides of the issue – environmental benefits and technological advancements – which shows a balanced understanding.
language usage
The language used is generally understandable and conveys the main ideas effectively, which aids in maintaining coherence throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainable alternatives
  • aviation sector
  • economic consequences
  • renewable fuels
  • climate change efforts
  • global connectivity
  • tourism industry
  • technological advancements
  • cultural exchanges
  • international trade
  • travel experience
  • airport congestion
  • job losses
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
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