Some people believe that zoos are cruel and morally wrong because they only keep animals in captivity. Others think that zoos play a variety of important roles aside from entertaining the public. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Being in captivity,
animals
are usually become more healthy, than being out in the wild, because their health is thoroughly tracked by workers of a zoo. It allows them to be in a safe zone, and not to be exposed to unsafe wild nature.
Firstly
, it is worth mentioning that zoos
are often criticized for confine
Wrong verb form
confining
animals
from their real places of birth. Critics explain that zoos
put animals
in small enclosures which can't adequately provide free space for a normal life. Despite that zoos
may enclose animals
in small cells, they sometimes engage in very important area
of scientific Fix the agreement mistake
areas
researches
, which creates an opportunity to learn Fix the agreement mistake
research
wildlife
Change preposition
about wildlife
,
and preserve Remove the comma
apply
animals
extinction.
On the other hand
, zoos
offer several significant benefits. They play a crucial role in animal conservation by providing a safe haven for species at risk of extinction. Zoos
contribute to preserving biodiversity and maintaining ecological balance. Additionally
, zoos
offer valuable educational opportunities for the public. Schools often organize trips to zoos
, where students can learn about wildlife and the importance of conservation firsthand. This
hands-on experience fosters a deeper understanding of animal behavior
and the need to protect their natural habitats.
In conclusion, despite the potential drawbacks of keeping Change the spelling
behaviour
animals
in captivity, the benefits of zoos
in terms of conservation and education outweigh these concerns. Zoos
play an essential role in protecting endangered species and raising public awareness about wildlife.Submitted by fruitextract on
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task achievement
Enhance your task response by addressing all aspects of the question equally. While you covered the argument that zoos can be seen as cruel, make sure to balance it more equally with the counter-argument's details and examples.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, try to improve the logical flow of ideas by using more linking words and transitional phrases to connect different sections of the essay. Additionally, a clearer and more engaging introductory statement could catch readers' attention effectively.
task achievement
In future essays, incorporate more specific examples to substantiate your points. For instance, referencing specific species that have been saved from extinction due to zoos could enhance the depth of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion sections provide a strong framework for your essay.
task achievement
You've captured both sides of the argument, highlighting the importance of zoos in animal conservation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.