IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many criminals reoffend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem

#criminals #reoffend #people #crimes #measures
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It has been universally acknowledged that the problem of many criminals
returns
Wrong verb form
returning
show examples
 back to do a lot of crimes in society is escalating at an alarming rate in the current scenario.
This
 problem has been a depressing magnitude.
Although
 a plethora of reasons are there yet some sensible solutions are
also
 available to curb
this
 grave concern. Commencing with the causes which are responsible for the growth of it. The first reason is a lack of programs that advise bad
people
 to stop doing bad habits. To demonstrate, many TV shows do not create useful and great films to knowledge them about the harmful effects of being a criminal. The second contributing factor is, that some criminals are not educated enough by their parents and schools . A study published at New York University in 1999 concluded that 90% of those who cause damage problems are from uneducated families. Conclusively, promoting a lot of sources in the criminal field will help
people
 to get awareness. In order to solve
this
 serious issue, some measures can be taken.
Firstly
, donate plenty of information about crimes at teenage schools .To illustrate, provide quantities of YouTube channels to show the horrific lives at the prison of nasty
people
 .
In addition
 to
this
,gives a bunch of small books from the government to citizens to protect them from huge offences. A study published at Muscat University by an abundance of experts in 1998 concluded that 90% of
people
 have little consciousness about the dreadful environment at the prison. consequence, society is considered one of the most important treatments for educating
people
 , especially the young. To recapitulate, unquestionably,
this
 problem has become a burning question of the day.
Therefore
, it is not an easy task to solve
this
. Government and
people
 should come forward to mitigate
this
 complex issue.
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task response
To improve task response, make sure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the question more explicitly. Discuss both why people reoffend and the measures that can address this issue in a clear and balanced manner.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your coherence and cohesion by ensuring that your ideas link seamlessly from one to another. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases that enhance the text flow.
coherence and cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your essay well and present your argument in a cohesive manner.
task response
Your essay contained some valid points related to both causes of reoffending and possible measures to prevent it, showing that you understood the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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