Traditionally, zoos are considered a sanctuary for endangered species, yet some of them are notorious for being cruel to animals. Do the advantages of zoos outweigh its disadvantages?

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Overall
, some people have been establishing
zoos
to protect biodiversity , especially the
creatures
that are endangered;
however
, there we can see a range of cruelty to wild
creatures
.
While
zoos
have some benefits, I still believe that cannot overshadow the demerits. On the one hand, the merits of
zoos
are so varied. On the one side, scientists and governments fund a great deal of time and money to find a way that create situations where wild
animals
do not die out.
For example
, China, built some areas to take care of Panda. On the other side, these kinds of places give a chance for the young generations to see the wild
animals
and know that the Erth is the sharing area among whole
creatures
;
as a result
, we have to prevent destroying the environment to protect them.
On the other hand
,
zoos
have different drawbacks.
Firstly
, when the
animals
live in these regions,
then
their children do not learn how they have to live in the forest and hunt other
animals
.
In other words
, these works change the wild
animals
' lifestyles;
consequently
, it is important that they live in the jungle
that is
conservation by the military .
Secondly
, unfortunately, if one kind of endangered animal is not in their correct place, the circulation of the environment is altered; in fact, the number of other
creatures
will be lost.
To conclude
,
zoos
are the main zones that aid endangered
animals
to be alive and teach the youth to become eco-friendly
while
the good points are not able to eclipse the bad points inasmuch as their lifestyles and the natural circulation are more essential.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples related to the disadvantages of zoos to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Clarify some ideas in your essay, particularly in the paragraph discussing the disadvantages of zoos.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transition between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented with a strong statement of your viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of zoos, providing a balanced view on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sanctuary
  • endangered species
  • breeding programs
  • population stability
  • natural habitats
  • conservation efforts
  • scientific research
  • veterinary medicine
  • animal behavior
  • ethical
  • animal welfare
  • confinement
  • commercial interests
  • human entertainment
  • alternative methods
  • virtual reality experiences
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