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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart provided information about the drinking habits of USA people by age. Summarize the informationa nd by selecting and reporting the main feature.

The bar chart provided information about the drinking habits of USA people by age. Summarize the informationa nd by selecting and reporting the main feature.
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The given bar chart illustrates the information about the drinking habits of the citizens of the USA by their
age
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of the population in the USA never drinks,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 after a specific
age
Use synonyms
 leave their drinking habits. A considerable number of
people
Use synonyms
 are light
drinkers
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the least number of
people
Use synonyms
 are heavy
drinkers
Use synonyms
. In the USA, approximately 60 % of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 16-24 years and never
drinkers
Use synonyms
. At their
age
Use synonyms
 35 to 44, around 60% of
people
Use synonyms
 are never
drinkers
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 65-74, around 45 % of
people
Use synonyms
 are never
drinkers
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, from the
age
Use synonyms
 of 16 to 64,
people
Use synonyms
drink
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, after the
age
Use synonyms
 of 65 to 74, around 45% to 65% of
people
Use synonyms
 become ex-
drinkers
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 60% to 90%of
people
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
between
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 of 25 to 34
drink
Use synonyms
 lightly, and around 85% to 95% of 65-74 aged
people
Use synonyms
drink
Use synonyms
 lightly. Meanwhile, at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 45 to 54, approximately 90% to 100 % of
people
Use synonyms
drink
Use synonyms
 heavily.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, people, drinkers, drink with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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